DUH!!!

That's what I was going to say earlier...as of yesterday, twenty days post-delivery, I officially fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans! Woohoo! Sure, they used to be a size too big and I needed a belt with them and yes, they're "fitted" now but I don't care. Yay! (Lest you think I'm totally vain being this excited about my jeans fitting, it's not just that, I'm also cheap....I won't have to buy new jeans... ;o)

Two Week Pictures

Here are some pictures taken last week:

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I had a bunch of things to say but of course, I can't remember any of them right now. We had another rough night last night but I'm getting used to it...I don't *like* not sleeping, but whatever...it's not like I actually expected to get any. Oh yes that's right...today that stupid cord stump finally fell off (grossest thing EVER) so we can give her normal baths in her baby bathtub, and one person can do it! We don't have to have both a Baby Handler AND a Baby Washer! Also, Craig is helping with feedings now...that is a HUGE help, if he can do just one feeding a day when he's home, I can either get more things done or get more sleep. Of course, I still have to sit down and take the time to pump but I've sort of taken care of that too...I have rigged the pump so that I can wear it around my neck and thus be somewhat mobile while it does its job. In fact, I'm multi-tasking right now, so to speak....not that you wanted to know. :-P

That's all! My mom leaves on Saturday so I'm trying not to go into panic mode...at the time of her departure she will have been here for four weeks and she's been a tremendous help. I'm sure I'll still be able to take care of the baby when she's gone, I'm just not sure the house will be as clean or I will get as many showers... ;o)

sleeping (even) less

Over the last few days, Ava has become more and more fussy...we're seeing less of the "good" baby we brought home from the hospital but I think that just means she's normal: the more she can look around and start interacting, the less time she wants to spend zonked out in her crib. Last night she slept on her cushion while Mom and I watched a movie, but then it took hours for Craig and I to get her to sleep...she went down around 1am finally and then got up at 2am to eat (her feeding times are all whacked out, she's probably going through some kind of growth spurt because it seems like she goes from content to starving in an instant)...she went right back down again and then woke up shreiking from a sound sleep at 4am. It just kills me when she does that because it sounds like she's terrified and it makes me wonder if she's having some kind of nightmare. (What does an infant dream about?) I didn't want to just shove food down her throat two hours after her last feeding so I brought her back to bed, propped myself up, and layed her on my chest. She fell right asleep and we slept like that (she slept, I dozed) for two more hours before she ate again. What a wonderful feeling--it doesn't matter how sleep-deprived you are, it just doesn't get better than having your baby curled up and sleeping peacefully on you like that. :o) Pardon my sappiness, I'm allowed a little from time to time!

In other--non-sappy--news, Ava is going through a little bit of a "rough patch" appearance-wise this week...she gained a lot of weight but no length so she's looking a little distorted right now. It happens to all babies at one point or another, they can't be adorable the whole time. (Yes, I'm really saying this. In my family we are rather honest regarding the appearance of our babies. For instance, I'm well aware that at about four weeks old, I was pretty rough looking myself. Hence the lack of four week photos of me in the photo album. If this offends you, please just stop reading. I've gotten some snarky anonymous comments regarding things I've said in this blog and honestly, if you don't like what I say, you should probably just spend your time online elsewhere....why would you take the time to read this stuff and reply if you don't like it? ANYHOW...all other people are welcome to be here. :o) Okay back to the point: yesterday, we decided to put Ava in a green long-sleeved onesie that says "Daddy's Little Girl" on it. My mom bathed her and put her in the onesie with a little pair of striped leggings (I posted pictures of those items quite some time ago, I bought them right after I found out we were having a girl.) Anyways so my mom put her down for a nap and I asked her how Ava looked in her outfit. My mom said--I quote--"She looks like Shrek, bless her little heart!" HA HA HA HA HA! I was DYING....there are many reasons to love my mom and that right there was just icing on the cake.

That's about it, I'll have pictures again one of these days, but today is not that day. I'm off to squeeze in a shower before Shrek--I mean, Ava--wakes up. ;o)

Two Week Checkup

We had two doctor appointments today--urologist and pediatrician--and both went well! First was the urologist at 8:45am: this directly interfered with Ava's feeding time so we (Mom and me; Craig is working) were going to wake her early and feed her at 7:00am...well, she decided not to go back to sleep after her 4:15 feeding until nearly 6:00, so I put her in her cradle and showered (I've been waking up drenched in sweat ever since I got home from the hospital, it's hormonal) and then fed her and we left. She had an exam and ultrasound and her kidneys are looking pretty good, but they put her on antibiotics and are scheduling her for a voiding cystogram next week. They'll have to fill her bladder and watch her pee to make sure there isn't any reflux in her kidneys. Ugh...I am NOT looking forward to taking my baby to the hospital to be cathederized...poor kid!

After the urologist we stopped by Starbucks for awhile, which was nice and relaxing for Mom and I, then home to feed Ava and feed ourselves before going to the pediatrician. At the two week appointment, the doctor is checking (among other things) to make sure she's regained her birth weight. That means Ava would have to be back up to 8 lbs. 13 oz....and she weighed in today at 9 lbs. 3.5 oz.! So, she's doing very well! We like our babies fat and happy. :o) Everything else seemed to check out okay except they want to do an ultrasound on her tailbone in a few weeks to take a look at something but she should be fine.

That is all...I can't do any picture updates at the moment, maybe this weekend....

this is not my child...

Last night, I fed Ava around 7:30, we bathed her and put her to bed in her crib. Sometime between 8:30 and 11:30 last night, someone took my sweet little girl and replaced her with Rosemary's Baby. I AM NOT KIDDING. She woke around 11:30 to eat, I changed her (she had a mess in her diaper and then, before I could get a new one on her, she made a mess all over me and the towel she was laying on. This should have been my first clue...) and put her to bed in her cradle. She fussed, kept spitting out her pacifier, and then started full-on screaming. I tried putting her on her belly and patting her in case she was gassy...nothing. Gave her a "snack" (Craig's words) around 1am and this helped for about ten seconds. At nearly 2am I finally took her downstairs and alternated between patting, swaddling, shushing, laying her on her Boppy cushion, giving her a pacifier and cuddling her; and she alternated between shrieking and whimpering. At around 3:45am she finally calmed down enough for me to put her back in the cradle. Well, apparently she decided at 4:15 that it was time to eat so I fed her (again) and she only ate for about ten minutes before passing out. I put her down, thankfully she decided she'd sleep, and then after her 8:15 feeding I handed her off to Mom and slept for about three hours. My mom thinks that Ava has decided that the early half of the night (approx. 12-4am) is her "awake" time...I think we will be modifying that over the next few weeks, because that's just not going to fly.

Two doctor appointments tomorrow...I'll update about those after they've happened.

three cute pictures

Just because :o)

My Favorite Baby Things

Babies require a ridiculous amount of products to keep them healthy and happy...and keep in mind, this is coming from someone who feels like she didn't register for a lot of the "extras"...over the past ten days there are a few products I've especially liked. (I already knew that I'd like and need certain things like the Boppy pillow for nursing, etc.) Anyhow, here they are:

1.) Bobby Luxe Infant Lounger
This is not something I registered for, in fact, I never even heard of it until someone sent it to us as a gift about a week ago. This is the green "pod" that Ava is laying on in a few of the pictures in the last post. It basically looks like a big, soft Boppy pillow without the hole in it, and the baby just lays on it. We've had her on it constantly since we got it and she's always cozy and content. (She's on the couch next to me in it right now :o) If you are having a baby, I highly recommend registering for it!





2.) Baby hats
These are a given since babies have trouble regulating their body temperature and lose a lot of heat through their heads...especially if your kid is born in the winter it's nice to have a few on hand. Plus, unless your baby was small and came out quickly or was delivered via C-section, he or she will probably have a lumpy conehead for awhile. Hide it. (Ava didn't have it TOO bad and her head is pretty much the normal shape now, but it's freezing here so she's keeping the hats on for awhile yet!)





3.) Carter's Receiving Blankets
They are pretty and lightweight and make it easy to swaddle the baby...I actually like them better than the pre-made swaddlers, even though those are nice and convenient too. I just liked the receiving blankets more than I thought I would. Plus they can double as burp cloths. (All right...at this point, just about anything can double as a burp cloth. Ask me how many times my cute black shirt got barfed on yesterday.)





4.) Nuk pacifiers
We don't want Ava walking around with pacifiers when she's four years old or anything but for now, they're wonderful...she usually just uses one to soothe herself for a few minutes before spitting it out, which is good. I like the Nuk ones best...I don't know why. She got a MAM one from the hospital but the nipple isn't as good.





5.) Burt's Bees Baby Bee products
I could tell you that I'm addicted to these products because they're all-natural, yadda yadda...but the truth is they just smell wonderful. Who cares if they're way more expensive than normal baby products...this is my first kid, I'll be practical with the next one! (Don't worry, Anna--I'm not going to be constantly sniffing my kid like that one lady.... ;o)





So what's my least favorite baby item thus far? Definitely the breast pump. I really thought that the breastfeeding would be weird and the pump would be my best friend but it's totally the other way around...I pumped yesterday and that thing is SCARY, and it hurt. Unfortunately, I seem to be producing more milk than your average dairy farm (that's actually a good thing because I never have to worry about whether or not I am providing enough nourishment for my baby), so I'm going to have to pump a lot. Ugh. I've already started freezing bags of milk so that Craig will be able to help with feedings.

Ava's first week

Here are some more pictures of Ava's first week home. Between the two sets of grandparents there are many more, but this is all I have time for right now! Things are getting a lot more settled around here...I'm able to sleep much better between feedings, and Ava is a remarkably good baby: she only screams at bath time (we can't give her real baths yet because of the cord stump, when we can actually sit her in the warm water she'll do better) and during most diaper changes (poor thing has a bad rash already) , she eats about every four hours, and sometimes longer. I've been setting my alarm every 4 1/2 hours so that if she is in a deep sleep I can wake her up to eat, which I guess is what you are supposed to do with newborns. We go for her two week checkup on Tuesday so if she's gaining good weight I may stop doing that at night, or go for every five hours. She usually wakes on her own between 3 1/2-4 1/2 hours though. Nursing is still going well for both of us, Craig is anxious for me to start pumping so that he can take part in feedings too, but that has to wait until she's used to the real thing for awhile.

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Please note...in the pictures where she is sitting in the sun, I'm not torturing her for the sake of a photo op...she had a high level of bilirubin when she was born, this has something to do with jaundice, which is not good. The doctor told us that putting her in the sunlight helps break down the bilirubin, so we did just that. The sunglasses were a fun touch, though. ;o)

the things I've learned

All right, before I write anything I'll give you some pictures. :o) There are more to follow in the next day or two, but I have to empty my camera, and I have to wait for the grandparents to email some to me as well...in addition to my mom and dad, Craig's parents were here over the weekend so there are a LOT of pictures from that visit. Six adults spoiling one baby...she has such a hard life... ;o)

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Now, here's what I've learned in my first week as a parent:

1.) Breastfeeding, which seemed like such an alien concept before, is not creepy at all. Luckily, Ava started out like a champ with the latching/sucking business and we only had to supplement with formula for about a day or two before the milk started, and we've been doing great ever since. When it's time for her to nurse, she scrunches up her face, opens her mouth up wide, and dive bombs my chest with her face, which is highly amusing to watch (no footage of that will be available, however...TOO MUCH INFO).

2.) Childbirth IS as bad as some people say it is. I'm sure it isn't always, or for everyone, but my experience was rather unpleasant. For the first few days after Ava's birth, I got nauseated every time I thought about it again. Ugghhhh.

3.) Finding time to sleep is less difficult than finding the ability to sleep. Last night was the best so far...I put her down and for once, wasn't too darn worried to get some sleep between feedings. I DID launch myself from the bed as if shot from a cannon at one point when I heard her make a funny sound, but that's it.

4.) Dignity really doesn't come into play in the delivery room, even for someone like me who was devastated by the thought of losing it. Craig witnessed the birth of his daughter with awe, not disgust. And I really didn't have time to think about how gross I probably looked while trying to shove the kid from the inside to the outside. I'm now laughing at myself for bringing a hair dryer with me to the hospital...I DID put on a little bit of makeup and clean myself up the next day but the hair dryer was overkill.

So, I'm going to admit that people were right and I was wrong about quite a bit...the person you are outside of the delivery room...totally not the same person inside the delivery room. And that's okay. :o)

Ava's Birth Day

As you can imagine, a LOT has happened over the past week...I'm going to have to update in a few different posts. This one will be Ava's birth and in the next one, when I have a little more time (ha ha!) to put it together, I'll do pictures. So here it goes...

Last Tuesday, January 8th I woke up at 4am with cramps...felt like I was having normal period cramps, but every so often they'd get REALLY bad. It seemed pretty regular so I woke up my mom and we timed them for awhile, woke up Craig, called the doctor, and was told to come in. We got to the hospital around 6:30am and they set us up in a delivery room...the contractions were pretty regular at about 5 minutes apart, painful but not unbearable, and I had dilated to 4 cm. (Oh, and it turns out one of my favorite doctors was on duty that day, which was great.) Anyhow, things progressed very slowly and I spent a lot of time just watching TV, fooling around on the computer, and clenching my teeth through the worst of the contractions...unfortunately they were getting weaker and further apart so finally the doctor came in and broke my water...the feeling grossed me out so much that I started crying, which had to have been a total bizarre hormonal reaction because it's not like it hurt or anything. But, ugh....gross. That didn't seem to speed things up much, so after a few hours they hooked me up to some Pitocin, which really got the contractions going--a lot more frequent and a lot more painful. (Craig and my mom enjoyed watching the contraction monitor to see what it was doing...Craig reported back to me on the strength and duration of each one because, I don't know. I was having the contractions...I was well aware of the strength and duration, thank you!) I finally requested some Staidol (sp), which is a narcotic they can put in the I.V...not quite an epidural but let me tell you, it was GREAT. It didn't so much take away the pain as make me too giddy to care. For about an hour I was laughing every time someone said something, or nothing at all.

After about an hour the Staidol wore off I lived through a few more contractions before finally requesting the epidural...that itself didn't hurt, but the numbing they did to my back in order to prepare me for it felt like being attacked by a swarm of bees...not fun, but it effectively knocked out the pain of contractions so that's what's important. By now we were getting into the evening, it must've been about 7pm and I was feeling a lot of pressure towards my tailbone when the nurse said it was time to push. I don't know how to describe it, just that the pressure would get stronger and that's when I was supposed to do the pushing. I had my legs up in some scary looking contraption, my mom sat near the foot of the bed and Craig had one leg while the nurse had the other. It wasn't too bad at first. For some reason, I was under the impression that the "pushing" phase was about ten minutes long when in reality it's about two hours for first time pregnancies. TWO. HOURS. My pushing phase lasted around 1 1/2 hours or a little more and I didn't do too badly for the first part but after awhile I was screaming for the nurse to just pull the baby out. (They don't do that.) Towards the end the pain was excruciating and in hindsight I'm pretty sure the epidural had somewhat worn off...the last few minutes were horrible and I didn't think I could continue with the pushing...I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours and I was panicking that I wouldn't be able to get the kid out. I yelled for my mom, who ended up taking the leg that Craig wasn't already manning. Lots of screaming, and the nurse had to yell at me to get me to calm down (I feel like an idiot, but I can't describe the panic...it was bad). FINALLY they could see the top of her head (my mom says that when the nurse told me she could see hair, I said, "WELL THEN WHY DON'T YOU GRAB IT AND PULL HER OUT LIKE A CARROT!") so the doctor came in and after another couple of minutes she was out! You have to have actually experienced it to completely understand the feeling of sheer relief when the baby finishes exiting your body. Oh, and I felt a little better about all the screaming I did because when the doctor held her up, she and the nurses all exclaimed about what a big baby she was. I think I said, "HOLY CRAP, DID THAT JUST COME OUT OF ME?!" or something to that effect. Craig was offered the privilege of cutting the cord, which he declined (I so do NOT blame him, I'd have passed too) so my mom did it. She's a nurse AND she's the grandma, so that was pretty cool for her.

So, my legs are still up in that awful contraption because, yippee--I have to deliver the placenta and also, I'm ripped open and need to be stitched up! Woohoo! (This is why I think the epidural wore off, they had to re-numb me before giving me the stitches...I'd have thought the epidural would have taken care of that.) But they handed me this screaming, only sort-of slimy baby and for a few minutes it really didn't matter anymore...I've never particularly enjoyed the sound of a screaming baby but at that moment it was the most awesome sound I ever heard. They cleaned her up, wrapped her in a blanket, and then Craig and my mom took turns holding her and taking pictures. (Craig also videotaped me holding her for the first time. This film had to be edited, as he didn't zoom in close enough and there was a lovely shot of my legs still up and the doctor stitching me. We discovered this when playing the video back for my parents....wonderful.)

After awhile we were wheeled up (or down, I can't remember) to the recovery room where we'd spend the next two days with the newest addition to our family...the nurses had to give me a lesson on how to clean myself after using the restroom since everything below the belly button was stitched, bruised, swollen, bleeding, and sore....the process was so time consuming that by the time it was finished, I had to use the restroom again. I don't remember much else from that night--I called people, I sent some emails/posted some updates, got woken up every few hours to have my vitals taken and to try nursing the baby. It was probably the longest, scariest, most painful day of my life but it DID have a happy ending. :o)

THE NEWS WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

Didn't make it to the doctor today. I made it to the hospital...not to the doctor...long story short, Ava Catherine has finally made her appearance! She's 21 inches long, and weighed in at a massive 8 lbs. 13 oz....I'll save the details of *that* experience for another post! 17 hours of labor, 1.5 hours of heavy pushing, and her official birthday is January 8, 2008, 8:49pm. The kid is apparently fond of the number "8." Why not...

Baby Ava! She's a little lumpy-looking now but I'm sure her head and face will go back to a normal shape after a few days. ;o)

more of the same

Lots of painful cramps last night but when I tried to time them, there was no real pattern. Of course, this kept me up until nearly 4am, which was pretty crappy, but whatever. Tomorrow I go back to work, to the doctor on Tuesday, and I'm crossing my fingers for the baby to arrive on Wednesday. We shall see. Until then I'm just driving myself (and likely everyone else) completely nuts, and I've decided that the frustration of the past few weeks is simply God's way of distracting me from actually being scared of what is yet to come...that's fine by me! I'll take being annoyed over anxiety any day! :o)

One week!

So, regardless of whether or not she chooses to come on her own or waits until she's evicted...by this time next week we will have our baby! :o) It was actually nice being able to have today baby-free (thus far)...I went in to work and served my time for the workday (it would've been a shame to waste a maternity day or sick day on it, since it's such a breeze), and found that one of the benefits of working with an almost all-female staff is that they know way more than I do about the baby stuff. They all agree that the first doctor should NOT have put me on labor watch without telling me that lots of women walk around dilated for weeks before giving birth, and a few of them checked out the belly and have confirmed that the baby has dropped. I also got to share my misery with other people who understand, which is always good! ;o)

Anyhow, Craig and I also worked in a nice dinner at Bella Monica and I was able to test the dropped-baby theory by seeing exactly how much food I could stuff in my stomach, and it turned out to be a considerable amount: iced tea, fresh mozzarella, bread, po crostini (like a bruschetta with cannelloni beans and asiago instead of tomatoes), a chopped salad, and olive oil gelato for dessert. Wish I could've had a nice glass of wine with it but that's okay!

My parents arrive early tomorrow evening...I'd like to think that perhaps Ava was waiting for her grandparents before arriving, but I doubt it. They'll get here and nothing will happen, except I'll swear that I can hear her laughing at me. :-P She must know how many people are anticipating her arrival, so she's dragging out the suspense as long as possible. Again--I don't do suspense or surprises--so this is something she must be getting from Craig.

Anyhow, that's it, I'm going to go about my evening routine of making sure the house is clean, doing a small load of laundry, and then showering and drying my hair before bed...all the little things I'd want done if we suddenly had to up and leave in the middle of the night. Jack is sitting here on my computer desk looking for attention, so I guess I should give him some. If you can actually call a cat "clingy" that's exactly what he's been for about a week now...he follows me EVERYWHERE and is always looking for some attention, even if it's just to be picked up and carried around, which isn't normal for him, at least not this much. I'm pretty sure he knows something is up.

update.

And not much of one. I'm still at 3 cm...it's now been at least two weeks. (On the upside, I only gained half a pound since last week!) The doctor considered scheduling me to be induced but decided to just have me come in for one more appointment next week (in five days instead of an entire week, I'll go in on Tuesday) and if nothing's happened by then we can schedule so that I will still deliver as close to my due date as possible. I don't think they'd consider it if she wasn't already ahead of development. This is getting completely ridiculous...this is definitely Craig's kid, not mine...if she were mine, she'd have gotten impatient and jumped ship already. When we have to go somewhere, I say, "Let's go!" and we go. If Craig says, "Let's go," what he really means is, "We'll go eventually. After I spend five more minutes on the computer, then put on a shirt without holes in it, put my shoes on at the front door, then decide I have to go to the bathroom, then grab a snack out of the pantry...."

Yep...it's his kid.

CALLING ALL MOMS....HELP!

Okay, so how exactly am I going to know I'm in real labor? This is bothering me big-time. I have had a lot of cramping lately. I've been told that labor is like really bad period cramps, but what exactly is "really bad?" I've had some pretty awful ones since the age of 13 so I'm worried that my idea of "really bad" is not the same as it would be for other people and I won't know right away. So, if you've had a baby--how did you finally know it was the real thing as opposed to just cramping? For about the past two days I've been in almost constant (but usually very mild) pain, some moments worse than others, but nothing seems to be happening and there hasn't been any pattern to the "worse" moments. Hopefully when I go to the doctor today they can tell me something, but the last time I asked the doctor how I'd know I was in labor, he just said that "I'll know" the difference. Thanks, but...HOW???? What exactly is the pain like? Will I definitely have spotting? What's the story?

Any input would be much appreciated! Leave an anonymous comment if you want, I don't care, anything! I'm dying for some firsthand info. here! :o)

One last chance.

Okay, Ava...this is it. You have one last chance to be born on a good date: tomorrow, January 3rd. That's J.R.R. Tolkien's birthday, and that would be cool. Otherwise, whatever.

Last night was rough: lots of cramps, lots of bathroom breaks ("Hey mom! I'm gonna punch you in the bladder again, woohoo!"), lots of anxiety...but, today I got a haircut and trained my maternity sub, so all is well. If the baby doesn't show up tomorrow then it's back to work for me on Friday, and I'll probably start feeling like crap once I'm getting up early and back on my feet, but that's okay...I've lost all energy to care about that anymore! I go to the doctor at 11am so hopefully he'll be able to give me an update on how things are progressing (or not progressing...).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well, we rang in the new year sitting in front of the fireplace in our pajamas, with hot beverages and Ava still in utero. I wanted her to arrive in '07 but it definitely gives us something to look forward to in the first week or so of '08! Check out the ticker...ten days until she's due...that's 24o hours! (14,400 minutes. Not that I'm counting.)

Speaking of numbers, they've found a new person to cover my maternity leave. Whew! Going to try to meet with her this week, but I've come to the conclusion at this point that one way or another the kids are bound to learn while I'm away and if the person covering my leave totally does her own thing, so be it. We'll all live. ;o) I've done my best and then some to prepare for this, and it's time for me to stop worrying about it. The end.