What a difference two weeks makes.
In that time, CJ has started to stick his tongue out all the time and make Wookiee noises (much to my amusement), Craig has officially accepted a new position within the same company (something he is really excited about that will not require us to move), and--everything else pales in comparison--the world lost a wonderful soul to cancer. I say "the world" because I cannot claim the loss as my own, she was a positive force in the lives of so many people.
Sarah was a sweet co-worker and friend of mine who was diagnosed with adrenal cortical cancer (which is rare and aggressive) in March of 2010. She had been working with us a little over a year at the time and thought she was having allergic reactions of some kind but the doctors finally found the stage four cancer. From the beginning, Sarah made two very important decisions: First and foremost, she put her trust in God's plan, no matter what. Second, she made up her mind that she was going to fight. Throughout her illness she remained positive and strong--even when the rest of us were feeling discouraged--even though every scan showed the cancer progressing, in spite of chemical and homeopathic treatment. She was absent from work frequently, and as much as she had great subs covering for her, it always broke my heart to open the door between our rooms and see someone else in her seat. On November 6th, about a month or so after stopping treatments and starting hospice, she closed her eyes for the last time. She was with her husband (I don't know him well, but I do know he's a wonderful man and they loved each other deeply) and surrounded by family. Although my heart hurts for them, we should all be so lucky to end our time on earth in the arms of those who love us dearly.
I'm having trouble grasping the concept of her death all at once, instead it comes to me piece by piece. I think about the sound of her voice or hearing her laugh through the wall we shared at work, and I'm fine...I think about how that will never happen again and I cry. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that she's lighting up Heaven with her laughter, that she now fully understands the plan God had for her life even if she didn't fully understand (even though she accepted it) while here on earth. Maybe it sounds childish, but I often picture her talking to my great-grandmother, who died 5 years ago...grandma says something outrageous, and Sarah laughs. I'm not sure how things work in Heaven, but if they meet I'm sure they will get a kick out of one another. :)
I should have a dozen inspiring Bible verses to quote right now regarding life and death, but all I can think of is a quote from--don't judge me--Dumbledore. Yes, from Harry Potter. "Do not pity the dead...pity the living, and above all, those who live without love." Sarah lived a life full of love: love she received from many others and the love she gave back to them a hundred times stronger. She lived and loved well, so even though I am sad and don't fully understand why she was only given 31 years on earth, I am not angry with God...my faith has not been shaken. When I look at Sarah's life and faith, my own faith is renewed. It's the "peace that passes all understanding."
Sarah, I miss you. I will see you again someday. Love you, girl.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Six Weeks Later
Time sure does fly around here, and the last six weeks have been a blur of sleeplessness, milestones, and a trip to Chicago thrown in for good measure. I will do a brief update and then hopefully a picture post in the next day or two...I can't do it all at once. Here's the breakdown by subject:
Ava...
...continues to be a huge source of entertainment around here. The terrible threes are terrible indeed, but with enough of her crazy humor thrown in to make it survivable. ;o) She's doing much better sleep-wise and behavior-wise now that she's in preschool and we have a much better routine around here, so that's good! My biggest problem with her right now is the willful disobedience: looking me full in the face and saying, "NO!" The other problem is not obeying the first (or second, or third) time I tell her to do something. It drives me NUTS. I am trying to discipline her swiftly and consistently and I talk it over with her constantly (and praise her like crazy when she does make good choices) so hopefully it'll start to sink in.
On a better note, she continues to be pretty good in public (Target, the mall, etc...we don't tempt fate by taking her to restaurants or anything like that) and she's turning into an AWESOME big sister! In spite of the fact that she told me today that she doesn't want CJ because she'd rather have a sister (doesn't every girl with a little brother say that at some point?), she does adore him and is very sweet with him. She sings to him when he cries, plays with him, tries to "help" him, etc. It's wonderful to watch.
CJ...
...is growing up so fast! I'd say "too fast," but a big part of me is ready to sleep like a normal person again so even though I'll be somewhat sad when he's no longer a baby, I'm enjoying it for now but looking forward to the next stage as well. Anyhow, he's now rolling easily from back to front and can occasionally go front to back. He's started rolling onto his tummy for naps and at night, and seems to be sleeping better as a result. A contributing factor to better sleep is that he's now on Zyrtec: after having a "cold" for about six weeks, we went back to the doctor yet again and I pestered the doctor until she finally said that yes, it was okay to try Benadryl or Zyrtec (I told her that our family would not survive another night of sleeplessness due to his incessant coughing and sneezing, and honestly, that probably was not much of an exaggeration. Poor baby!) Ava had allergy issues around this age as well, which she outgrew after a couple of years.
We've also started him on food: so far, just rice cereal and bananas once a day, but I'm adding sweet potatoes tomorrow. Could've done it sooner but I like to wait until Craig is around in case he has an allergic reaction. He's taking two bottles a day (but will only take 3 ounces at a time from a bottle, he's not a big eater) and nursing 3-4 times a day, and seems to be holding steady in the middle of the growth charts. He's still kind of high maintenance about naps/bedtime, but I'm trying to let him cry more and trying not to soothe him to sleep before bed as much so that he learns to self-soothe a little better.
Craig...
...is working his butt off at work and school. He's taking his last three classes and then graduates in December, yay! He'll start an MBA program in the spring or summer, so we will get a few months' break in there, at least from his schoolwork.
Me...
I finally feel like I've settled into life at home. It can be lonely, but it is what it is: I'm starting to meet more moms through preschool and library time, etc, so hopefully soon we'll start hanging out with other people a little more. There's definitely no way I could've handled work AND taking care of my two inconsistent sleepers, so I'm happy for this opportunity to spend a few years raising them and not worrying about an outside career, even though there's a lot I miss.
I'm also exhausted more often than not, so in the interest of getting some rest tonight, I'm going to wrap things up. I guess I'll have to do a blurb on the Chicago trip later. ;o) Nite!
Ava...
...continues to be a huge source of entertainment around here. The terrible threes are terrible indeed, but with enough of her crazy humor thrown in to make it survivable. ;o) She's doing much better sleep-wise and behavior-wise now that she's in preschool and we have a much better routine around here, so that's good! My biggest problem with her right now is the willful disobedience: looking me full in the face and saying, "NO!" The other problem is not obeying the first (or second, or third) time I tell her to do something. It drives me NUTS. I am trying to discipline her swiftly and consistently and I talk it over with her constantly (and praise her like crazy when she does make good choices) so hopefully it'll start to sink in.
On a better note, she continues to be pretty good in public (Target, the mall, etc...we don't tempt fate by taking her to restaurants or anything like that) and she's turning into an AWESOME big sister! In spite of the fact that she told me today that she doesn't want CJ because she'd rather have a sister (doesn't every girl with a little brother say that at some point?), she does adore him and is very sweet with him. She sings to him when he cries, plays with him, tries to "help" him, etc. It's wonderful to watch.
CJ...
...is growing up so fast! I'd say "too fast," but a big part of me is ready to sleep like a normal person again so even though I'll be somewhat sad when he's no longer a baby, I'm enjoying it for now but looking forward to the next stage as well. Anyhow, he's now rolling easily from back to front and can occasionally go front to back. He's started rolling onto his tummy for naps and at night, and seems to be sleeping better as a result. A contributing factor to better sleep is that he's now on Zyrtec: after having a "cold" for about six weeks, we went back to the doctor yet again and I pestered the doctor until she finally said that yes, it was okay to try Benadryl or Zyrtec (I told her that our family would not survive another night of sleeplessness due to his incessant coughing and sneezing, and honestly, that probably was not much of an exaggeration. Poor baby!) Ava had allergy issues around this age as well, which she outgrew after a couple of years.
We've also started him on food: so far, just rice cereal and bananas once a day, but I'm adding sweet potatoes tomorrow. Could've done it sooner but I like to wait until Craig is around in case he has an allergic reaction. He's taking two bottles a day (but will only take 3 ounces at a time from a bottle, he's not a big eater) and nursing 3-4 times a day, and seems to be holding steady in the middle of the growth charts. He's still kind of high maintenance about naps/bedtime, but I'm trying to let him cry more and trying not to soothe him to sleep before bed as much so that he learns to self-soothe a little better.
Craig...
...is working his butt off at work and school. He's taking his last three classes and then graduates in December, yay! He'll start an MBA program in the spring or summer, so we will get a few months' break in there, at least from his schoolwork.
Me...
I finally feel like I've settled into life at home. It can be lonely, but it is what it is: I'm starting to meet more moms through preschool and library time, etc, so hopefully soon we'll start hanging out with other people a little more. There's definitely no way I could've handled work AND taking care of my two inconsistent sleepers, so I'm happy for this opportunity to spend a few years raising them and not worrying about an outside career, even though there's a lot I miss.
I'm also exhausted more often than not, so in the interest of getting some rest tonight, I'm going to wrap things up. I guess I'll have to do a blurb on the Chicago trip later. ;o) Nite!
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