Something they don't tell you about being a parent

If you were anything like me as a kid, you were somewhat of a nerd and was rejected by the prettier, more popular girls at school. I specifically remember an incident in fifth grade: one of those girls sent a friend of hers to inform me that I was "ugly, unpopular, and would never have a boyfriend." That's a direct quote. Fortunately, even though those things were hurtful, I realized that I would eventually go on to middle and high school and meet good people--which is exactly what happened. Anyhow, I'm getting off topic...yes, my feelings were sometimes hurt. But it doesn't even hold a candle to how it feels when you see it happen to your own child. Ava is only three years old, and I'm appalled that already I have had to witness catty behavior towards my daughter. I know I've had trouble with her lately, but when it comes to other kids, Ava thinks everyone between the ages of two and twelve is her best friend. Today at the pool, there were some significantly older kids but nobody Ava's age, so she was thrilled when a girl of about five showed up (only a year and a half older). Ava immediately asked the girl to be her friend and although she seemed reluctant at first, they ended up playing together. Awhile later, another girl showed up who was clearly friends with the first girl...immediately they started playing together and absolutely refused to have anything to do with Ava. My little girl sat on the steps and just stared down at her lap. I asked her what was wrong and in the saddest little voice I've ever heard, she said, "Nobody wants to be my friend." I almost cried right there at the pool (yeah, I'm crying now). I know I cannot force people to be decent and spare my daughter from that kind of hurt and rejection, the best I can do is try to give her a thick skin so it doesn't bother her much. I can't even describe how badly that ripped my heart out. Fortunately, another girl who is actually Ava's age showed up and they played together and she seemed to forget about the other girls, which is good.

This will not be the last time something like this happens...I have no idea how I am going to do this. I guess I just have to remember that I survived it without any lasting damage and if I raise my kids to be strong, independent, and self-confident, they'll survive it too.