Having skull (and other) issues

I have noticed recently that I don't have a very well-designed skull when it comes to coping with haircut mishaps. I've been wearing headbands a lot because it really helps make my hair look a little less poodle-ish, and I need all the help I can get, but there's a problem: the headbands are constantly trying to slide off. If I had a few well-placed lumps or indentations in my head it would really help. (And since I have thick, curly hair; nobody would ever notice that weirdness because it would be hidden.) I've drawn a sketch to illustrate my point:



(Of course, after obtaining a more efficient skull, I will try to obtain a more efficient means of drawing on the computer, because Microsoft Paint is just not cutting it, in my opinion....) The arrows are pointing to the proposed indentations that would help keep my headbands in place. OH, and as long as I'm designing things, I'd like to make a sign on a piece of cardboard and attach it to a stick. I want to keep it in my car and I want it to look like this:





I'm sick of almost getting killed five times a day by bubblehead soccer moms driving around their cute little SUVs and yapping on the phone! I would also like a catapult on the roof of my car that I could use to fling rocks at their windshields, but I'd make do with the sign for now. I know, I seem like a very angry person; but I swear I'm not--I'm actually quite pleasant as long as there aren't any idiots getting on my nerves. ;o)