Sandling Beach

I was up about 5:30 or so to feed CJ and he decided to stay up for a bit: he was having a bit of a tummy ache I think, he seems to be better now so I'm just waiting for him to get tired enough for me to put him back down. Didn't get much sleep last night...Ava got up at 2:30 (only once, so that's an improvement!) but I'm so stressed out that I didn't get back to sleep again until after 4am. If you are on my facebook page (likely that's how you arrived here in the first place), you know she's dealing with a lot--we all are trying to adjust right now--and is a mess right now, so I won't repeat all of that.

ANYHOW...I decided this was a good time to do a fairly quick blog post. A few days ago, my mom, Ava, CJ, and I headed over to a nearby lake for some swimming and a picnic, since it wasn't going to be ridiculously hot out. It was great! We all enjoyed the fresh air, Ava made friends with a little boy and they had fun playing together (no photos, I didn't want to look like some kind of creeper taking pictures of a kid I didn't know), my mom and I took turns hanging out with Ava or watching CJ. I was able to feed him twice in the car, so we didn't have to work around his feeding schedule. Hoping we can go again one of these days!

 On the beach with Ava and CJ. Yes, I'm white. Very, very white. 

 Mimi and CJ

Playing in the sand

Enjoying a picnic lunch in the shade

 View of the beach from the shady area where I sat with CJ while Ava and my mom played in the lake

 CJ enjoyed resting in the shade...I got to read about 1/3 of a magazine while he slept. ;o)

Mimi and the grandkids

***On another note, the camera is finally fixed! Hopefully after today I'll have higher quality photos to post, although shots from my phone will still appear when I'm feeling lazy. :)

Reunion, and Bedtime at Our House

Okay, I had to wait to post this until one of the subjects of the post put up her photos, which I've stolen since we still do not have a functioning camera, aside from the one on my iPhone 3, and that one is kind of pathetic. ANYHOW...on Saturday, I took the kiddos and headed over to Christina's house to hang out for a few hours with her and Emily, a friend/former coworker who moved out of state a few years ago. At the time of that move, Christina (who is the friend/former coworker who was also Ava's babysitter extraordinaire for a year and a half) only had one child, Emily and I had none...now we have six between the three of us! Anyhow, Emily was in town for a few days so we did a little former FA employee reunion and chatted while the kids played. It was so nice to catch up...we met Emily's sweet Sophia and I met Christina's baby girl, Anna, who is ten days younger than CJ. Ava had a BLAST with Will and Adeline, who are like siblings to her--she also enjoyed entertaining Sophia. It was a great morning and I wish we all lived closer to one another!

 Former FA Girls! Emily, Christina (with Sophia), Melissa

My sweet little boy

 

Ava and Will entertaining Sophia

Ava playing with Will and Adeline...she loves them and talks about them frequently even though we don't get to see them much.

 Adeline playing with Sophia

Bedtime at Our House

Ava can be very difficult at bedtime...for awhile, we had major issues with her where we had to sit in her room until she fell asleep, and then at some point during the night she'd end up in our room anyhow (we made her sleep on the love seat in the sitting area, but it was still not cool). I managed to work with her and FINALLY get her to fall asleep on her own and mostly stay in her room, although she has frequent nightmares and will cry out and occasionally still come to our room. More recently she's taken to getting up and running around after I've put her to bed. Sometimes she goes right back down, sometimes it requires a spanking or at least the threat of one. Tonight, I was feeding CJ when she decided to get up...Mom was hanging out in my bedroom and had already confronted her once (Ava said she thought she saw a ghost and heard a strange noise, and was searching for "clues." What a character...!) so we decided to ignore her. We heard her for awhile, saw her peek in once, and then silence. When I went to put CJ in his crib awhile later, this is what I saw upon exiting my room:

Kid was PASSED OUT in the hallway, even with the hallway lights blazing. She didn't even wake up when I carried her to bed! Wondering if maybe ignoring her is the way to go from now on, maybe this is just a passing phase...aren't they all?

Aaaaaaand on that note, guess who just showed up at my bedroom door. Good grief. I better go....

This and That

It's been a week since I posted, and it's been busy: Mike and his girlfriend were here until yesterday, when they headed back to FL at 6am. My mom arrived last Thursday and will be here until Friday. Craig has been in and out, as is normal. Anyhow, it's been great seeing family and having the extra company! Mom and I scrubbed down the house yesterday (okay, it was 98% my mom, about 2% me...but I did wrangle the spawn) and because it was too hot out, we spent the afternoon watching a movie and having popcorn with Ava while CJ napped. Today, she'll take Ava to the pool while I do a Target run (my first with only one child in three months!) and then this afternoon, Ava and I get haircuts. Nothing terribly exciting. Speaking of Ava...we finally got her into a preschool! Not only that, but this specific program is an answer to EVERY preschool-related prayer I'd been praying: close to home, priced in the middle compared to other preschools, three days a week, and an option to pay extra for something called "Lunch Bunch," where the kids get to stay an extra hour for lunch and playing on the playground. I would LOVE to do that just once a week to give Ava extra social time and myself extra sanity time. ;o) School starts September 7th and I'm not sure who's more excited, Ava or me!

This week's Ava-isms:

 Mike and Ava, playing with water balloons on the swingset. Ava told me that they were throwing them at Darth Vader.

*Ava has been really into telling me secrets. This consists of whispering into my ear things that are not actually secrets, and some of what sounds like gibberish. Yesterday her secret was: "Mommy. I'm going to school, but you can't go to school naked. You have to wear clothes."

*Me: "Ava, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
 Ava: "Touching your boob."
 Me: "Well, we don't do that. It's rude."
 Ava: (pauses to consider what it means to be rude and how she can be polite) "May I please touch your boob?"

(Before you think my kid is a pervert, please note that to a 3-year-old, there are no "private" body parts, even though I'm working on this with her. She might as well be showing interest in my elbow.)

*Ava still gets upset when we have houseguests: with a new brother and all of the comings and goings around here, she desperately wants it to just go back to Mommy, Daddy, and her. (Or better yet, just Daddy and her, probably because I'm the disciplinarian. She still tells me to go back to the hospital.) Yesterday she was having epic meltdowns all morning and said to my mom: "GO HOME! GO HOME TO YOUR FAMILY!" It was kind of funny, kind of sad. Poor kid.

CJ at 11 weeks:

 My mom and CJ

*Although my baby boy seems to be a lot more smiley and mellow than his sister, he's definitely not as interested in consistency and routine as she was as an infant: although he does seem to adhere pretty well to our nighttime bath/feeding/bed routine and pretty consistently takes a good late afternoon nap, he likes to change things up quite a bit: I can never tell what time he'll wake up for a night (or early morning) feeding: yesterday it was 5am, today it was 3:15am, the day before yesterday it was 6:30am.  He has also decided to switch his allegiance from those Avent "Soothie" pacifiers they give out at the hospital (after I bought two more packs) to the Nuk ones I bought for Ava that she never used. Not a big deal, but when I tried those with him before he refused them. Mom popped one into his mouth the other day and he thinks it's the best thing invented since the boob. Speaking of which, remember how I got him to take a bottle, no problem (three times)? Yeah, Craig and I left him with my mom on Saturday so we could catch a matinee of the final Harry Potter movie (AWESOME, by the way) and get dinner...left him with a bottle full of milk, not a drop of formula....and he refused to take it. Screamed bloody murder until I got home and nursed him. At least this date was close to home, as we were able to come home from the movie, feed him, and then go back out to dinner. I guess I'm going to have to bottle train this kid or not have a life for the foreseeable future. (Oh wait, I don't have one! So we're good.)

 

The rejected Soothie pacifiers

 

CJ's new best friend: the Nuk

In non-offspring related news, I made EPIC Sweet Potato Chili Cakes with Cilantro Lime Sour Cream:

Recipe can be found here. Thanks, Paula Deen! (Please note: if you make these, the liquid in the recipe is too much. You can either add less of the egg/milk mixture or add some Panko bread crumbs to help absorption, or a little of both. I personally like the texture when some Panko is added.)

Clarification

Upon re-reading yesterday's post, I realize it makes it sound like Craig and I are having problems...that's not the case. It's just that he doesn't understand my stress and frustration from caring for a baby and a crazy 3-year-old by myself 24/7 (and keeping up with cooking and cleaning), and I don't understand his from living out of a suitcase and being away from home constantly, and trying to do schoolwork on top of that. It's easy to idealize what the other person has because we each feel like we're doing the more difficult task. But the important thing is that we realize those feelings are normal, that this amount of stress is temporary, and we're taking it on to make things better in the long run. He's still my best friend and partner in crime, and I'm glad we're in this together. :)

(Having said all of that, I hope he remembers that I'm stressed and sleep-deprived when he walks into the garage today and sees that I accidentally knocked the side view mirror off of the car while he was away...in my defense, it's hard to back out of the garage when there is no room and you have two kids melting down in the back seat...;-)

Kicking and Screaming

 CJ is 72 days old today!

The title of today's post does not refer to one of my children (although both of them do plenty of it), but rather how I feel like I'm getting through life right now. By now, anyone reading this is probably aware of my difficulties with Ava (thank God for Mike and Gio and all of the attention they're giving her this week!)...we've figured out she's mostly bad when Craig is around, probably because when he's home it throws off her routine and she is very emotional regarding his coming and going. Although she does require some mommy attention (mostly for her bedtime routine), she's been happy to let my brother and his girlfriend spoil her. CJ is a good baby, but he's still a baby and I forgot that with them, if it's not one thing it's another: we survived the peak of fussiness (3-6 weeks), and then he started teething. I'm pretty sure I can feel one tooth on the verge of poking through, aaaaaaand now he appears to have hit a growth spurt. (Not sleeping as long at night, naps aren't as good, fusses and tires easily, eats a lot more.) He's passed out on my bed right now and that has given me time to straighten up the house, make lunch, and start this post...we'll see if I get to finish it or not... ;o) Ava is at a nearby lake with Mike and Gio, I wanted to go but it's just hot and humid enough to make it too uncomfortable for the baby. Disappointed but enjoying the quiet and calm around here for as long as it will last!

 Poor CJ! We see this face a lot these days.

Anyhow, I feel like I've finally hit some sort of stride around here but many days I also feel like I struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by feelings of despondency. When I don't have guests and Craig isn't around (which is most of the time), it's very lonely and can be overwhelming. I miss my job, I miss my friends, I miss having a shred of sanity and simple things like washing my face before noon or eating food that isn't stone cold. I feel inadequate for not having a job outside the home, and then I feel guilty for feeling that being a full-time mom is not something of which to be proud. Sometimes I feel like an extension of Craig rather than my own person...does that make sense? It bothers me that on our tax forms I will be listed as a "dependent"....can't they list me as a "wife who had a good job that she was good at but is taking a few years off to take care of the kids and the household because her husband works all the time and is going back to school"? I mean, is that so much to ask? ;o) In addition to being good for our family, this staying home thing is a lesson in humility and keeping one's pride in check.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, rather, I'm just laying everything out. I know there are so many mothers who's struggles are a hundred times greater than mine: real single moms (as opposed to my part-time single mom-ness), military families, etc. It's not easy but I DO realize that we are--that I am--incredibly, undeservedly, blessed. Not a day goes by without me falling a little more in love with my sweet CJ. Even on Ava's worst days, when I'm tucking her into bed I just want to hold my crazy little firecracker of a daughter (she comes by it honest) and stop her from growing up. And even though Craig and I don't seem to understand each other much right now because we're both dealing with stressful but completely different situations, we both agree that: 1.) that's okay, and 2.) we'll get through it, and most of all 3.) we love each other and have a good thing going.

(Note: I realize the picture quality is poor these days: our camera is broken (Craig is supposed to be sending it to Sony for repair, not sure if it's actually happening or not) so I've been taking pictures on my iPhone 3. Sorry!)

Like Father, Like Son...

This is a picture of CJ with a baby blanket that was handmade by Craig's grandma for him when he was a baby...37 years ago! It's soft and comfy and in perfect condition--my mother-in-law sent it to us a few months ago and CJ seems to have really taken to it. In the evenings, he usually takes a little catnap on my bed while I'm doing Ava's bedtime routine (he needs it to hold him over between his real afternoon nap and bedtime) and whenever I cover him with the blanket, he snuggles up with it and dozes off...I even used to this afternoon to help settle him down for his afternoon nap! SO CUTE. (Yes, I know the rule about no blankets in the crib. I only do this during naps when I can check on him frequently and watch him on the video monitor.)

That's about it...Craig is in California on business and I'm killing time until my brother Mike and his girlfriend Gio arrive for a visit...so excited to see them, I think it's been over a year! They're about 15 minutes away right now. :)

Green Cleaning At Our House

All right, so when you think about things like environmentalism, I'm probably not the first person who comes to mind. ;o) However, a few months ago I made a few changes in how I clean in order to cut down on some of the chemicals around our house, more for our family's health than for the planet but hey, if the earth benefits from it too, great! (Some people are very dedicated when it comes to living an all-natural, healthy, earth-friendly life. I am not one of them, but I feel like something is better than nothing.) It turns out that you can clean and disinfect almost everything in the house with vinegar and/or baking soda: I had heard about using vinegar on wood floors for a streak-free clean, and at work two years ago they started requesting "green" cleaning products and vinegar for cleaning the classrooms. It makes sense if you think about it, I mean, we can EAT baking soda and vinegar so it must be pretty safe, right? (Then again, we eat hot dogs and those things are SCARY. I guess that's why I just try not to think about it while I'm eating them. Hey, I said I wasn't living the perfect all-natural life, didn't I? ;o) Plus, although they disinfect, they don't eradicate every single germ which is actually better: if you are in a completely sterile environment, your immune system doesn't get a chance to develop and you actually get sick more.

Anyhow, I keep spray bottles upstairs and down with a mixture of approx. 2/3 vinegar and 1/3 water and use these for cleaning surfaces. I keep boxes of baking soda near the vinegar, and use a combination of the two to clean sinks, toilets, tubs, etc. It removes soap scum really well and it's fun to watch it bubble and fizz...reminds me of the model volcanoes kids used to make for science fairs. :) I also read today that vinegar can be used to clean stainless steel appliances...wish I'd have read that before I purchased more stainless steel wipes earlier in the week! I still use Pledge Multi-Purpose on the wood furniture, but am going to try a combination of lemon juice and vinegar, which I also just read about today. Think I'll probably stick with Windex on the windows, but seriously, one or two chemical cleaners as opposed to a whole collection of them is great! It's pretty cheap too....I buy vinegar by the gallon and the Target brand is cheaper than a gallon of milk.

It's very possible that everyone reading this already knows these things and I'm just a step behind, but I thought I'd share just in case. Goodnight!