breast vs. bottle, and sleep success

VS.

I was inspired to post today because I've been perusing the internet (looking for info on boosting milk supply) and once again, I was appalled by what I found concerning the superior, judgmental attitudes of breastfeeding advocates (not all, but a great deal of them). Ava was born a big, healthy 8 lbs, 13 oz: I planned on nursing her during my maternity leave and then pump until she was six months old. Anyhow, Ava was a natural and from the first time I fed her she latched like a pro and loved to eat. Problem though: I had no milk. Everyone--doctors, lactation consultants--told me this was no big deal and it would come in and she'd be fine until then. However, the first night we had her home from the hospital she screamed all night and her lips and tongue were dry. My poor little girl was starving and dehydrated and being a first time mom who was sleep deprived, in pain all over, and completely uninformed, I had no idea until I took her to the pediatrician for a weight check and found out she'd lost a bunch of weight. They gave me an SNS kit (for giving formula while nursing) and put me on the phone with a lactation consultant who was open-minded enough to be supportive of supplemental feeding, and when I got home that day my daughter got her first good meal since she'd been born. She instantly gained weight and stopped screaming constantly, and because the SNS kit allowed me to nurse her so she wouldn't "forget" how to latch AND supplement her at the same time, my milk came in great a day or two later and we had no additional problems: I nursed exclusively until I went back to work, and then nursed her 2-3 times a day and gave her half milk/half formula bottles until she self-weaned at four months. (She did this by biting me--she started getting teeth around two months--and pulling away. My body was ready too, as my remaining supply dried up without any issues of infection or engorgement.) She drank formula for the remaining months until she turned one and could have regular cow's milk, and she was a happy and healthy child, save for an issue with ear infections (which I've known exclusively breast-fed babies to get as well). Anyhow, I have never really gotten over the guilt of starving my child in the first few days of her life, and I advise every mother-to-be who asks for advice to keep an open mind and use an SNS kit until her milk comes in if the colostrum isn't enough for her baby. I also blame the staff and consultants for not presenting me with this option, but I guess they're probably afraid since people are so forceful about the breastfeeding. I'm more concerned about whether or not my child is starving, but that's just me...I personally think it's selfish to be so hell-bent on one idea of feeding that you let your child go hungry in the meantime...how would you like it if you had to depend on someone for sustenance and they withheld it from you, even though you were so hungry and thirsty you were screaming? Why do some women act like those who choose formula are bad mothers? I consider a good mother someone who recognizes the needs of her child and herself and meets those needs in order to make the best possible situation for both of them: for some moms, this means formula and not breast milk.

Anyhow, I felt much more relaxed with CJ: I brought my SNS kit to the hospital, made it clear to the staff (I wasn't rude or pushy or forceful, just straightforward) that I wanted to breastfeed but not if it meant depriving my baby of food. CJ was 8 lbs 4 oz (petite compared to Ava! ;o) so still a good size...the day after his birth, he wasn't latching great and my milk of course wasn't in, so I enlisted the help of the lactation consultant on duty. She was great and didn't discourage me from supplementing, but brought me two different devices and helped with the latching issue. My milk came in fine soon after (I think I supplemented a few ounces over the course of two days) and we've been doing great ever since. My personal goal is to breastfeed exclusively until we start introducing solid food (5-6 months or so) and then when CJ's tummy is used to other nutrients, bring in some formula. I tried doing a half formula, half milk bottle about a month ago and that didn't go over well, he spit up quite a bit, but it was Enfamil: that caused Ava to vomit like a crazy person. (You know what worked for us? Target brand formula for sensitive stomachs. Half the price of the other stuff.) My bigger concern is just getting him to drink from a bottle so last week I tried one with just breast milk and he did great! I'm using Tommee Tippee bottles, which in my opinion have the most realistic nipple, at least from the selection at Babies R Us. Anyhow, after he starts on food and some formula, I still want to nurse 2-3 times a day for a few months. However, I don't have my heart set on any one approach: as long as my baby is fed and happy, I know I'm doing the right thing.  I *am* enjoying it for the time being though, because like I've said in other posts, CJ is our last baby and once he leaves a certain stage, we never get to experience it again.

SNS kit, similar to the one we used with Ava...you fill it with formula and get the baby to latch on to your nipple, then slip in the tiny plastic tube. They feel like they're breastfeeding (and the sucking lets your body know it needs to start producing milk) but are actually drinking formula. 

The bottles I'm using with CJ...or will be using in the future

So on to a different topic: SLEEP. For a few weeks now, CJ has been sleeping from 10pm until 5-6am without waking. He hasn't had a set naptime and I've been letting him nap all over the place: on our bed, in the swing, in his Boppy lounger, etc. However, for the past few days, I've gotten him to do a morning and an afternoon nap in his crib (with catnaps in between since he still needs tons of sleep)...I'm trying to get the AM/PM naps established in his schedule and it looks like we're well on our way: not only has he napped in the crib but he's gone from awake to asleep in his crib! (As opposed to only sleeping when I have first soothed him to sleep.) I just have to get him to a very relaxed/dozing state and he drops off to sleep on his own. WOOHOO! He's taking an afternoon nap now, and I'm trying to get Ava to have some quiet time (lay on the couch and rest while watching a movie...how difficult is that?) but it doesn't really seem to be working, what a shock. Praying we find an opening in a preschool soon!!!!!

Random Thoughts and Some Twilight Bashing

I'm thinking we may be on our way to getting on some kind of a schedule around here: CJ has been down for nearly two hours for a morning nap, and did about 1 1/2 hours for an afternoon nap yesterday. Of course he'll still have additional catnaps since he still needs so much sleep, but I really want to establish an official morning and afternoon nap. Of course, it will have to be tweaked if Ava actually gets into a preschool: we've had no luck so far. Since people around here reproduce like mad (it IS a great place to raise a family) and there are a lot of stay-at-home moms (and probably quite a few like me who feel that their kid is going to drive them insane), preschools are in high demand. I didn't know how far in advance you had to register, like probably five minutes after getting the positive pregnancy test would have been good. (Seriously though, they registered back in JANUARY for this upcoming school year...I didn't even know I'd be staying at home at that time and never even dreamed that it would be impossible to find a preschool. INSANE.) Anyhow, now would probably be a good time to clean the house but other than keeping it straightened up and throwing in a load of laundry, I'm waiting until Thursday when a sitter will be coming in to help wrangle the kiddos while I scrub this place from top to bottom. My brother Mike and his girlfriend will be arriving on Friday from Florida...woohoo! I am SO excited to see them, I think it's been well over a year. A few days later my mom arrives. I look forward to spending time with family and handing over the kids so that Mimi, Uncle Monkey, and Gio can dote on them while I escape, even if it's only to take a shower in peace. ;o) Of course, Craig and I are going to have our belated 8th anniversary date, which will most definitely include going to see the last Harry Potter movie. SO. EXCITED. I know, I'm a nerd...and I'm also watching all the movies this week in preparation. (I don't have time to re-read the books these days, plus that would just draw my attention to all the details they didn't cover in the movie, which is always frustrating.) Anyhow, anyone who's ever met me knows how much I despise Twilight, so naturally I was pretty amused when I came across the following Harry vs. Edward pictures...enjoy! (Or not, if you're a big Twilight fan. ;o)

I'm a Barbie Girl...

As promised, I'm taking a break from the usual babbling about my offspring to deliver a snarky commentary on some Barbie dolls I spotted on a recent trip to Target. I don't necessarily buy into the whole idea of Barbie dolls being responsible for young girls having low self-esteem, setting a standard for beauty they can never reach, yadda yadda (although some of the dolls are in serious need of adequate clothing). But some of the more "modern" Barbie products kind of scare me:

 Yes, the packaging says to "Swap heads!" Ummm....creepy much?! And what are they wearing?! It's like the Headless Hooker series or something...

Oh Ken, what has happened to you? Hand in your man card....NOW. You seriously should've stuck with the painted on hair, and DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE SHIRT. No. Just...NO.

This is Teacher Barbie. If I wore something like that to work when I was teaching, I'd have gotten fired, or arrested.  And those glasses...yeah. If they were going for the "smart and sexy" look with those glasses, they failed.

This is Kid Doctor Barbie. You know, in the real world we call those people pediatricians. It may be a big word, but I'm pretty sure kids could handle it...my 3-year-old has been using a lot of big words--and using them correctly--lately because we don't dumb down our conversations with her.

Given the topic of today's post, it's only right that I leave you with this gem from back in the day:

Two Month Stats

We had CJ's two month checkup today, and I have one healthy and (usually) happy little boy! He weighs 12 lbs, 3 oz. (55th percentile) and is 22 inches long (20th percentile)...teeny tiny! Well, teeny tiny compared to his sister: at her two month checkup, Ava weighed in at 13 lbs, 11.5 oz and was 24.25 inches long--both 97th percentile! WOW! Anyhow, CJ got three vaccinations today (one oral, two shots) and the doctor said this could cause him to be a little fussier than usual. "A little fussier" apparently means "screaming bloody murder for most of the day." Poor baby! Not only was he obviously in pain from the shots, but the doctor confirmed what I suspected, he does seem to be teething. Too young for Tylenol or Motrin (and he can't have Orajel either) so he just has to tough it out. I spent the majority of the late afternoon/evening wearing him in the Moby, he in his diaper and me in just a bra (skin contact is supposed to be soothing, it seemed to help) and that calmed him somewhat but he still had crying/screaming fits. I did get him down to sleep at the normal time, so now I'm going to soak in the tub and have a small glass of wine....my nerves are shot and my body aches from cooking and cleaning while wearing a baby, even if he is only of moderate size. ;o)

Not much exciting going on here, but if you check back in the next few days I'm going to have some snarky commentary (with pictures!) regarding Barbie dolls I saw at Target today. All I'm going to say is that they made me want to weep for the future of humanity....

Ava and CJ at Two Months

So, I was snuggling CJ to sleep this afternoon (I know, it's not a good habit, but he's super-fussy due to the teeth and I think he's too young to take anything for the pain, so I'm spoiling him) and looking down at him I realized two things: first, he looks a lot like Ava did as an infant, and second, I remembered holding her in the same position while she slept at about the same age. So I took a picture of him...here are both pictures, aside from their noses (and the obvious feminine/masculine attire), I think they look a lot alike! It's the mouth and the eyes, and the squishy baby cheeks.

 CJ--2 Months

 Ava--2 Months

Tempting Fate

Last night I tried a new schedule with CJ: normally in the evenings, he is somewhat fussy but tends to doze off, usually falling into a pretty good sleep sometime around 8pm (when Ava is in the middle of her bedtime routine and I can't actually take care of him since I'm usually by myself)...this means I have to wake him up around 9pm to bathe and feed him: he then goes down easily at 10:00. I figured, hey, why don't I just bump things up a few hours so that CJ is going to bed at 8:00 when he's falling into a good sleep anyhow? I could bathe and feed him between 7-8 when Ava is watching her TV shows and then put him down right before it's time to read/say prayers. Sounded good in theory but he would. not. sleep. On the upside, he did hang out in his crib with very little fussing while I was doing the reading/prayers with Ava, so I was able to complete that part of her bedtime routine without juggling him as well. Afterwards, I fed him again and he FINALLY pooped (yeah, I know that's gross, welcome to my world)...which could have been a big reason why he wasn't going to sleep. At any rate, I was lucky because all that happened was that we ended up on our regular schedule (he went down at 9:45), and I didn't totally screw him up. So, either stomach discomfort is to blame or the change in routine was a stupid idea...I mean, he already does pretty well going down at 10:00 and sleeping until 5 or 6 the next morning. I just thought it would be nice to not have to wrangle two kids during Ava's routine and to just be done when she went to bed.  I think I'll give it a shot tonight and if it doesn't work I'll leave it alone...his schedule will be constantly evolving over the next few months anyhow, and I don't have to worry about getting up for work so it should be fine either way.

I'm also considering tempting fate today by taking the kids to the mall. By myself. Oh, did I mention I'm kicking myself for not buying a double stroller? If Ava had an ounce of sanity or common sense she could walk beside me while I pushed CJ in the stroller but I'm not sure I see that happening...I'm going to give the Moby a shot for CJ and stick her in the stroller. We need to get out of the house but it is insanely hot with suffocating humidity this week (heat index in the low 100s) so outside is not an option. UGH.

Also, I think CJ is teething. Yes, it's early. Ava and I both got our first tooth between 2-3 months of age so if he is, it's not a shock. He's fussier than usual, even during the morning when he's usually happiest, and drools like crazy. I think I feel a bump on his gums but I can't really tell.

Finally, here's a picture taken yesterday of my crazy kiddos...Ava asked me to take a picture of them. :) They are so adorable!!! (What an obnoxious "mom" thing to say, huh? It's possible I'm a little biased. ;o)

Ava-isms

I really should post more of the things Ava says and does, because she is absolutely hilarious right now! If I can keep up this more frequent blogging thing maybe it'll actually happen...anyhow, here are a few of her more recent funny moments:

• Last night she burst into the bathroom when I was about to step in the shower. First she informed me that she could see my butt. Then she said, "Mommy, you need to put clothes on or Daddy will see you naked!" So I told her, "Daddy has already seen me naked, sweetie." So she said, in an I-dare-you tone of voice, "Go out there!" (Meaning into the bedroom where Craig was watching TV.) So I did...Craig, of course, glanced up and went back to watching TV. Ava stood behind me having a giggling fit at the sight of Mommy standing naked in the same room as Daddy...it was pretty funny. 

• She told me the other day she wanted to be Shrek for Halloween. I told her I didn't think I'd be able to find a costume for her. She sat, silent for a moment, and then said, "Okay, then I want to be Rapunzel!" From Shrek to Rapunzel....? Okay...

• She frequently throws parties for her stuffed animals and dolls...in my bathroom. So I do have a pretty awesome bathroom, but party-worthy? Hmmmmm. She also commandeers CJ's baby equipment for her own babies and frequently reminds us to be quiet when they are sleeping, or has us help change their diapers, etc.  And when she names something, she incorporates what it is, or uses her own name, or both. For example, the snake that lives somewhere around our house is Snakey Snake. The turtle Craig found is Turtle Turtle Ava Turtle, and likewise one of her dolls is named Baby Baby Ava Baby. (Her other babies, named last year, are Baby Lauren, and Baby Tasha. She did name her boy baby "CJ".) The exceptions are two baby birds that were born and raised in our hanging fern plant: she named them Mr. Julio and Mr. Pedro.

• A few days ago I made us smoothies. (both of us need more fruit...this is a good way to get it. Frozen fruit, yogurt, low-sugar juice, and honey.) I gave Ava her smoothie and she said, "Mommy, could you make a smoothie out of....POOPIE?!" Umm...gross. I guess this is the age where kids start really asking about bodily functions and genitals, huh? (And to answer her question, I guess you could make a smoothie out of just about anything, but why would you want to?! We'll stick with fruit.) 

• A couple of months ago, she was giving us all titles: My mom and I were princesses, Craig was a prince, my dad was a human, and my brother Mike was a peanut. Ava declared herself the queen.

• When she first saw me feeding CJ after he was born, she thought it was hilarious. For the next few days, she tried to nurse her dolls...since then, she's gotten used to seeing her brother eat, but a few weeks ago she lined up her dolls next to me on the couch while I was feeding CJ and told me I had to feed them next. When I asked her how I was supposed to do that, she looked at me like I was a complete idiot and said, "With your boob!" She might as well have thrown in an eye-roll and said, "DUH!"

All right, that's about all I can think of for now, even though I know I have missed quite a bit! I'll end this post with some pictures...they were actually taken last October, so nearly ten months ago--Ava looks so different now! However, the pictures are adorable (and were taken by a sweet girl I used to baby-sit who is now all grown up and a very talented photographer)...enjoy!