HOORAY!!!

Ava is back to sleeping! Woohoo! I put her down last night at 9:20 and she went without so much as one fussy noise. So, either those bad nights were the anomaly and she's back to normal; or bad is the new normal and last night was the anomaly....I'm really hoping for the first one! ;o) And I feel MUCH more rested today, thank goodness...yesterday I was so exhausted it was like bringing her home from the hospital all over again.

Anyhow, this pumping at work thing? So not working for me. I may be limiting the breastfeeding a lot sooner than I planned, since the amount is already slowing down and it takes me twice as long to get barely the same amount as before. Luckily, I have enough frozen to keep her on 1/2 formula, 1/2 milk bottles during the day for quite some time.

That's it...got relatives coming for dinner tonight so I'll post more after that...hopefully take a few pictures too.

not so bad after all :-P

Thank you all for you comments...I'm doing much better now! :o) Unfortunately it's because my formerly angelic little sleeper has suddenly turned on me. Normally I feed Ava and she's down by 9pm, and sleeps for about 9 or 10 hours. Sunday night she screamed her head off when I tried to put her down. I tried letting her cry, I tried going in and patting and shushing her, I tried letting her eat for a few minutes, EVERYTHING. It was almost midnight when I finally went to bed but the kid was still up, my mom just ordered me to bed and she took over. I still couldn't sleep while she was crying, and she didn't go down until 1am...so I had four hours of sleep for my first day back at work. She pulled the same crap last night, but this time I got smart and went to bed at 9:30 when my mom told me to (I'm pretty sure I heard her get up with the kid at 3:30 as well...WHAT THE HECK????!!). Anyhow, I am too exhausted and irritated to be that hung up on missing her at the moment! We have one week to get her to snap out of it and then I'm screwed because my mom is leaving. I absolutely will not be able to survive like this for long on my own. It's pretty rotten that since 7 weeks her sleep has gotten better and better and with the exception of two nights a few weeks ago, she's at least gone down without a hitch....yet she chooses the EXACT MOMENT I go back to work to freak out. I wouldn't even mind if she got up in the middle of the night for a feeding IF SHE WOULD JUST GO TO SLEEP IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! How the heck do I get her to go to sleep? Am I not letting her cry enough? Because I can only let it go so long when it's that screaming....just crying or whimpering I let her do.

ANYHOW at least I did enjoy being back at work. It was a great day, even though I had to start it with a big cup of coffee instead of the usual herbal tea. Pumping at work is time consuming and not fun (obviously!) so I'm pretty happy that I only planned on doing it this quarter....only 41 more school days until summer break!

not doing so well :-(

I'm once again feeling horrible about going back to work and leaving Ava. Have been crying off and on all day...and will probably completely fall apart in two weeks when I have to take her to actual day care instead of just leaving her with my mom. I don't feel like talking to anyone....I don't even feel like making eye contact with other people. I just feel rotten.

That is all.

Huh. Interesting....

Lately, I've been having a lot of dreams about spiders. I hate spiders and am terrified of them (and cockroaches) so they're pretty crappy dreams. According to dreammoods.com, this is what that means:

Spiders

To see a spider in your dream, indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. Or that you may want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation. The spider is also symbolic of feminine power. Alternatively, a spider may refer to a powerful force protecting you against your self-destructive behavior. If you kill a spider, it symbolizes misfortune and general bad luck.

To see a spider spinning a web in your dream, signifies that you will be rewarded for your hard work. You will soon find yourself promoted in your job or recognized for your achievement in a difficult task. Spiders are a symbol of creativity due to the intricate webs they spin. On a negative note, spiders may indicate a feeling of being entangled or trapped in a sticky or clingy relationship. It represents some ensnaring and controlling force. You may feel that someone or some situation is sucking the life right out of you.

To see a spider climbing up a wall in your dream, denotes that your desires will be soon be realized.

this is going to be the death of me....

I'm referring to the scrapbook I've been diligently putting together, of course. At first I was afraid it would be one of those projects I'd have good intentions about completing but never really get around to but the opposite is true: I can't put it down!!! Last night I put Ava down around 9pm and she went with only minimal fussy noises so I was going to touch up a few things and then shower and go to bed. That "touch up" session turned into almost three hours of work! I've really enjoyed going through the photos (I swear, I still tear up when I see the pictures of Ava immediately following her birth) and putting them in the scrapbook with all of the pretty paper, stickers, etc. It starts with a picture of Craig holding the pregnancy test and so far has pictures of my growing baby gut, the baby showers, putting together the nursery, Ava's arrival/our stay in the hospital, and then I stepped out of order for a moment and put together a page of Ava in the bathtub. My next task is to do a page or two of the weekend following her birth when all of the grandparents were here. Anyhow, I'm very proud of the work I've done, it looks great! So much more fun to look at then just a plain album....it's just costing me many hours of much-needed sleep! ;o) My progress is going to be a lot slower not that I'm going back to work (thank goodness, I need to pay for all these scrapbooking supplies somehow) but I still plan on doing it on the weekends because it's something I really enjoy.

Back to work

I went back to school today for the full staff workday and honestly, it felt really good to be back!! I know, the kids aren't there yet so it's easy to say that ;o)....but for real, it was great. I missed Ava of course and had to stop myself from calling to check on her a million times (I only texted Craig once!) but it's nice to get back into the swing of things. I've felt a little out of sorts staying home--I don't think I'd have felt that way if I was going to stay home permanently--and now it feels like I'm finally back in a routine. It'll be harder when the kid is in daycare and I'm wrangling students again but whatever!

As for Ava and Craig, they had a great day! I got her up and nursed her before I left, then put her back down...she slept about three more hours for Craig. They also went for a walk, went to Starbucks, and had tummy time. I think now he realizes how tiring it actually is to care for a baby all day--teaching is definitely easier. ;o)

Some Pictures

Just a few pictures taken last week! :o) If you look at Ava's head in some of the photos you can see how patchy her hair has gotten...I know this is normal but it looks like she's got the mange. Ah well.


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