CJ at Four Months

Weight: 15 lbs even (50th percentile)
Height: 24.75 in (45th percentile)

It's funny...everybody I meet always says, "Oh, he's such a big boy!" and yet he's right in the middle: in fact, only in the last few weeks has he started wearing 3-6 month clothes. They should've seen Ava as a baby, always in the 90th+ percentile for height/weight. ;o) 

Overall, I have one happy, healthy baby boy who is right on target developmentally, can't complain about that! Some of his favorite things include riding in the Moby, watching everything Ava does (usually smiling and laughing and looking like he wants her to notice him), putting everything he can grab in his mouth, "talking" all of the time, and when we sing "The Wheels on the Bus." We are crazy about him and so happy he's part of our family. :)

baby clothes and a broken heart

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

--Elizabeth Stone

I'm trying to collect my thoughts so I can adequately express myself (not one of my strengths), and I've started and deleted the opening sentence half a dozen times already. Last night I had an emotional meltdown brought on by cleaning. Yes...cleaning. More specifically, cleaning out CJ's closet and putting away the newborn clothes he'd outgrown so I could make room for the 3-6 month sizes. I was fine during the sorting process: it was a couple hours later, when I was cleaning up after dinner with CJ snuggled against me in the Moby that I lost it. All at once it hit me...I no longer had a newborn baby and would never have another one. As sweet as he was at that very moment, it would be over in the blink of an eye. I cried for hours, I second-guessed our decision to be done having kids, and I grieved the closing of that chapter of my life. Later this week I have to go through Ava's closet and even though I may get teary, there's just nothing like putting away that first set of baby clothes. I cried years ago when I put away Ava's, but it was different: there was still the possibility that those clothes would be worn again, the knowledge that there would be more newborns (or newborn, singular ;o) in our family. Realizing that's now completely behind us is hitting me harder than I ever expected. In fact, having kids in general has left my emotions in a more tender state than I care to admit, and it seems to be permanent. No matter how many tantrums are thrown, no matter how much sleep is lost, I'm all kinds of crazy for my babies, and watching them grow up is both wonderful and heartbreaking.

 

Yes, I realize it does not have to be behind us--we can have another one! But if I start thinking like that, having babies every time it makes me sad to put away baby clothes, we'll end up with twenty kids. ;o) My moment of weakness, of thinking, "Well, who knows? Maybe in a few years we'll change our minds..." was followed immediately by a flashback of my last pregnancy, and I know I will never do it again. (Unless for some reason Craig suddenly decides he really, really wants a third child...I would do it for him. But he wasn't even sure he wanted a second child so I don't see that happening.) I don't do pregnancy very well, childbirth is a nightmare and the recovery is no picnic, and the first two months of caring for a new baby are layers of bliss sandwiched between slices of sleep-deprived hell. I am so thankful to be undeservedly blessed with two beautiful, healthy children and I'm going to try to enjoy every moment of their childhood and not take it for granted (that does NOT mean I won't whine about stuff...there's no fun in being a big flippin' ray of sunshine 24/7), but as Craig pointed out, we still have a few years before they're really fun. I mean, I'm enjoying them now--the funny things Ava says, CJ being the sweetest baby alive--but in a few years when tantrums and diapers are behind us, it's an entirely different kind of fun. 

 

So, that's what is going through my mind lately...as difficult as it has been to transition from working and having a life to myself to stay-at-home mom, I am not going to take it for granted and am so grateful for this opportunity to spend time with my kids. 

 An over-the-shoulder view of CJ sleeping against me in the Moby. 

 CJ in a sweater knit by one of my mother-in-law's friends: it's gorgeous and soft and snuggly, and will fit a little better in a few months when it's cold out. 

Watching TV one morning in my room...they were both in such a sweet, mellow mood!

First Day of School

I'm a few days late on this...but last Wednesday was Ava's first day of preschool, and it was great! It was only a half day (okay, so it's only a half day to begin with so this was more like a quarter day...1.5 hours instead of 3) but Ava LOVED it. She did not want to go in at first, and in fact she got THAT look on her face, crossed her arms,  and said, "No! I want to go HOME!" It was mortifying. Luckily I was able to get her in the room, and within a few seconds she was so interested in what was going on that she let go of my hand, and I RAN. They had a room open for parents to hang out since it was only a half day, but there were no other parents (bummer, I wanted to meet people :-\ ) so CJ and I went to Starbucks and then wandered around Kohl's for a little while before picking Ava up. She was happy to see me but looking forward to her next day! We had a celebratory Chick-fil-A lunch (nuggets for her, the world's most disgusting salad for me....I'm done getting their salads. Worst lettuce ever.) Thursday was her first "full" day (three hours--I used this time to clean the house in peace), she was reluctant to go in again but not as bad, and when I picked her up she would not leave. Like, spotted me through the door, started pouting, and then turned her back and pretended I wasn't there. On the way home, she continued to pout and said, "Mommy! Why did you take me away from my school?!" HAHAHAHA! So glad she loves it! Unfortunately, today we got to school and found that it was closed due to a broken water main...poor Ava was crying. I wanted to cry too, as I'd been planning for weeks on using today to organize my desk in the bonus room (it's buried under about 18 inches of junk) and then read on the porch for awhile while CJ napped. They are up and running again, however, so we'll be back at school on Wednesday!

 Being dramatic and making a sad face...

 ...but then she made me get the camera BACK out so that she could take some happy pictures!

Our first day of school lunch

CJ looking on (and looking cute ;o) while we eat lunch

Check back soon--more updates on what's been going on around here will follow! 

Picnics and Tea Parties

 This picture has nothing to do with anything, but it makes me laugh...

So, I don't watch reality shows (unless you count the stuff on Food Network and HGTV)....I especially don't watch those Real Housewives shows (no offense if you are into them, they're just not my thing) because from what I understand, it's just a bunch of spoiled, catty women, drinking and shopping and fighting with each other. Since I already want to punch people on a daily basis, I probably don't need to lower my opinion of humanity any further, you know? If you want a show about REAL housewives, I'll start filming my day-to-day activities. You'll observe such things as me waking up looking like the living dead, fixing my hair while simultaneously singing "The Wheels on the Bus" and rocking the baby bouncy seat with my foot, keeping a 3-year-old from shoving plastic toys up her nose, cleaning the same thing a hundred times, and getting spit up on repeatedly. Sometimes we go to Target...and if I'm really feeling daring, I'll get a decaf vanilla latte while I'm there. Hey, I didn't say it was exciting, just real! ;o) Anyhow, this week started off pretty nice, we didn't have such unholy heat and humidity, so two days in a row I packed a picnic lunch and we headed to a nearby park. CJ napped in the Moby carrier and Ava had a blast playing, especially when a few other kids showed up.

Thursday afternoon, Ava decided to surprise me with a tea party:

 

It was so cute! She made me close my eyes and walk out onto the porch where she had everything set up, and she was SO proud of herself. I made us some of my favorite chai, which she refers to as "spicy tea." (Please ignore my gross, stained cushions...they got all wet and mildewy in the recent storms and I'm going to get rid of them and replace them for next summer. Blech.) 

Also this week we had parent open house and then student open house for preschool! I am SO excited for Ava, and she had so much fun at her open house that she didn't want to leave! I know she'll probably melt down next week when I actually leave her there, but I'm sure she'll get over it quickly. School is going to be so good for her (and for me too!).

Finally, Ava has been really into taking pictures, and she snapped this one of CJ on my phone:

Not bad! He looks very concerned about something though...of course, he was born into a crazy family, so I guess I can't blame him, haha!

This week wasn't all sunshine and rainbows (last night was particularly rough) but today, I'm choosing to focus on the good...luckily, there was plenty of it to focus on! I also started another blog--if you didn't catch it already, it's called Things Ava Says and the name describes it all: it's a site dedicated to Ava-isms. I'll link it directly on the main page of this blog when I figure out how. ;o)

Natural Disaster Week

It's been quite a week around here.

On Tuesday, we got up and got ready to make the drive to Trader Joe's--however, the weather was absolutely gorgeous so we decided to go to the pool instead. CJ cooperated by being adorable for about a half hour, and then falling asleep. Ava and I had a great time in the pool and then I got out for a little while while she continued to splash around. As I was sitting there, somebody came up to my chair and started shaking it...at least, that's what it felt like. Then the fence around the pool started rattling. I was confused for a minute and thought maybe the ground was shaking because of the construction a few doors down but that didn't seem right. Then I thought maybe it was an earthquake, but...really? In North Carolina? (A few years ago I felt a small earthquake in IL, otherwise it never would have crossed my mind) So, I went to the most reliable source I could think of....FACEBOOK. ;o) Sure enough, people from NC up to NY were posting about the earthquake. On a good note, aside from some structural damage to buildings close to the epicenter (VA outside of DC), nothing really happened except people in California could be heard laughing at all of us here on the east coast. ;o)

Today, hurricane Irene hit us, but as far inland as we are it just resulted in a rainy, windy day and no damage. It was actually pretty nice, all cozy in the house with my family. Ava was surprisingly good, considering she was trapped inside all day--she's been on a Land Before Time kick and all of the movies (twelve, I think?) are on Netflix streaming, so she watched a few of those, we colored pictures and painted our toenails, and she played dolls in her room with Craig. CJ was mellow, and we had plenty of snacks and comfort foods to keep us happy as well. The kids went to bed tonight without too much drama, and now Craig and I are enjoying a movie (and in case it seems rude for me to blog while we're hanging out, he's playing games on his iPad. ;o) 

 

Speaking of Ava, we're really working hard to keep things as structured as possible for her, especially at bedtime. I have no idea how things got so out of hand, but before I knew it, she wasn't going to bed (wanted to fall asleep in our room) and wasn't staying in bed (wanted to get in our bed). Things aren't a hundred percent under control but we're moving in the right direction: right now I consider it a success as long as she's falling asleep in her own bed and if she gets up, we can talk her back into her bed, even if it means one of us has to sleep in there with her for a bit. I've also given her a Princess flashlight to entice her to stay in bed and it hasn't worked any miracles, but has definitely helped. I have to sneak in after she's asleep to turn it off, but hey, whatever works! She has said some pretty hilarious things this week, too....

1.) Tonight she was goofing off and wouldn't settle down and obey at bedtime, so I had to threaten her:

Me: "Ava, you are not making good choices. If you don't settle down, I'm going to have to spank you."

Ava: "But, MOMMY...I am your CHILDREN!" 

2.) Last night I gave her a picture of Craig and I (from back when we first started dating ten years ago!) in lieu of us sitting in there with her:

Me: "Here, I have a picture of Mommy and Daddy for you...that way when we aren't in the room, you still have us with you."

Ava: "Thank you so much! Oh, you guys look CUTE! Daddy has nice teeth, and you have nice teeth! They're big!"

3.) She keeps taking CJ's things--toys, blankets, pacifiers--and insisting they're for her daughter. Ha.

I'll end with a few pictures I took this week...

Ariel is receiving an oatmeal body treatment courtesy of Ava. She loves playing with her food...she stages elaborate dramas with carrots, cucumbers, bread crusts, etc. Her imagination is really something to behold...

 Playing on her swingset...I usually end up in there as well. Last time, we were being attacked by Darth Vader but managed to fend him off by throwing burning sticks at him and setting him on fire.

 CJ watches from the sidelines, clearly amused.

 CJ is very attached to me...as long as I'm in sight, he's very happy. In this picture he was chilling on his Boppy lounger while I folded laundry. His attachment to me is both flattering and frustrating. I can't be annoyed though, I am crazy about this kid!

 FINALLY taking bottles with ease! Yeah!

 I'm not really sure why, but we never bought one of these Bumbo seats for Ava. I regretted that last week when I realized how convenient it would be for CJ to be able to sit and hang out with me, but didn't want to spend $40+ on it when he's our last baby and we'd only use it for a few months. This one is a loaner from a friend...thanks, Mary! :)

 Ava trying to make her brother laugh. This is why, even though she's at the peak of her terrible 3's, I'm still crazy about her.

 My beautiful little girl, who is still a carbon copy of her father.

Helping Daddy mow the lawn--she LOVES when he drives her around the yard on the riding mower.

Clever Girl...

Warning: don't watch this video clip if you've never seen Jurassic Park and/or it bothers you to see someone being eaten by a dinosaur. 

What on earth was the point of that, you ask? Calm down, I'll explain. ;o) So, as everyone residing on planet Earth knows by now, Ava is very strong-willed, and very smart...which is actually kind of a scary combination in a 3-year-old. She has figured out that she would rather do as she pleases than receive any kind of reward, treat, sticker, etc. In many cases, punishment won't work either or we are limited in our options (I cannot let her have an all-out crazy tantrum at 3am, for example, because we have a baby to think about and I may be good, but I'm not wrangle-a-screaming-baby-and-a-tantrumming-preschooler-in-the-middle-of-the-night good). Over the past few months of dealing with her, I've come to realize it's much like the video clip above: I may think I've got everything under control, that I'm handling a situation and I've got her right where I want her, but the next thing I realize, she's been handling me the whole time. As frustrating as this is, I can't help but think, "Clever girl!" I talked to Craig a little while ago and am begging him to back me up in adhering to a strict schedule with her. Hopefully this will eventually stamp out any notion she has that the bedtime routine and where she sleeps at night are negotiable. As much as I miss work now more than ever, I'm very grateful for not having to worry about a job on top of everything else.

Strangely enough, CJ is the only one in the house who currently sleeps like a pro: he's inconsistent, but on his "bad" nights, he'll wake up to eat after six hours (but then go right back down again for a few more hours). On his best nights--two this week--he has slept straight through from 10pm-8am!!!! It's AWESOME. If I could only get my firstborn to sleep, I'd be in a great place right now! He is such a sweetie too...he smiles and laughs a LOT, and I love acting like an idiot just to make him do it. :) He's also begun taking bottles from Craig, woohoo! I'm not planning on switching to bottles anytime soon (going to start slowly transitioning when he starts eating food) but it's good to know he will now take bottles, and not only from me.

The in-laws visited last weekend and we had a great time! Ava loves her grandparents and was mostly good for them, she kept the ornery behavior to a minimum and was pretty loving most of the time. Good heaven, that girl could have everyone wrapped around her finger if she was always as sweet as I know she can be...maybe the tantrums are a necessary evil to keep us from spoiling her. ;o)

That's about it for now, I am not doing pictures in this post as I'm going to bed. Wish me luck!

Sandling Beach

I was up about 5:30 or so to feed CJ and he decided to stay up for a bit: he was having a bit of a tummy ache I think, he seems to be better now so I'm just waiting for him to get tired enough for me to put him back down. Didn't get much sleep last night...Ava got up at 2:30 (only once, so that's an improvement!) but I'm so stressed out that I didn't get back to sleep again until after 4am. If you are on my facebook page (likely that's how you arrived here in the first place), you know she's dealing with a lot--we all are trying to adjust right now--and is a mess right now, so I won't repeat all of that.

ANYHOW...I decided this was a good time to do a fairly quick blog post. A few days ago, my mom, Ava, CJ, and I headed over to a nearby lake for some swimming and a picnic, since it wasn't going to be ridiculously hot out. It was great! We all enjoyed the fresh air, Ava made friends with a little boy and they had fun playing together (no photos, I didn't want to look like some kind of creeper taking pictures of a kid I didn't know), my mom and I took turns hanging out with Ava or watching CJ. I was able to feed him twice in the car, so we didn't have to work around his feeding schedule. Hoping we can go again one of these days!

 On the beach with Ava and CJ. Yes, I'm white. Very, very white. 

 Mimi and CJ

Playing in the sand

Enjoying a picnic lunch in the shade

 View of the beach from the shady area where I sat with CJ while Ava and my mom played in the lake

 CJ enjoyed resting in the shade...I got to read about 1/3 of a magazine while he slept. ;o)

Mimi and the grandkids

***On another note, the camera is finally fixed! Hopefully after today I'll have higher quality photos to post, although shots from my phone will still appear when I'm feeling lazy. :)