I'm a little overdue for CJ's six month update--his appointment was two weeks ago, and he weighed in at 17lbs, 2 oz and 26.5 in. That's about the 50th percentile for both. I have no idea about head size, but it's on the smaller size. He takes Zyrtec for what appears to be seasonal allergies (like Ava did), and hopefully he will outgrow them by the time he's three (like Ava did). He is rolling all over the place and tries to get around but hasn't actually attempted crawling, he can sit up with help, and is constantly "talking." I put him to bed around 8pm and he gets up between 7-8am...about one-third of the time he sleeps through the entire night, the rest of the time he usually wakes up between 3-6am for a brief feeding and then goes back down. His morning nap is usually 1-2 hours (except right now, because I actually have a few minutes to chill out...so he's trying to be difficult and started fussing at the 45 minute mark), the afternoon nap usually lasts a little longer. I still nurse him 3-4 times a day, twice a day he takes a bottle and eats food...he's mastered every Stage One fruit and vegetable that Gerber has to offer, and eats rice and oatmeal cereals.
Ava is doing well, and when I can grab a few more minutes besides the limited ones I have right now, I will update the other blog accordingly. ;o) She LOVES preschool, has made friends, and is doing better overall. She doesn't have many tantrums, but she's entered a fairly defiant, argumentative phase. We're working on it.
Okay, nevermind...I'll get back to this later. Homeboy is having a full-blown fit up in his crib.
And by later, I mean in a month or so. *sigh*
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
A Life Well Loved
What a difference two weeks makes.
In that time, CJ has started to stick his tongue out all the time and make Wookiee noises (much to my amusement), Craig has officially accepted a new position within the same company (something he is really excited about that will not require us to move), and--everything else pales in comparison--the world lost a wonderful soul to cancer. I say "the world" because I cannot claim the loss as my own, she was a positive force in the lives of so many people.
Sarah was a sweet co-worker and friend of mine who was diagnosed with adrenal cortical cancer (which is rare and aggressive) in March of 2010. She had been working with us a little over a year at the time and thought she was having allergic reactions of some kind but the doctors finally found the stage four cancer. From the beginning, Sarah made two very important decisions: First and foremost, she put her trust in God's plan, no matter what. Second, she made up her mind that she was going to fight. Throughout her illness she remained positive and strong--even when the rest of us were feeling discouraged--even though every scan showed the cancer progressing, in spite of chemical and homeopathic treatment. She was absent from work frequently, and as much as she had great subs covering for her, it always broke my heart to open the door between our rooms and see someone else in her seat. On November 6th, about a month or so after stopping treatments and starting hospice, she closed her eyes for the last time. She was with her husband (I don't know him well, but I do know he's a wonderful man and they loved each other deeply) and surrounded by family. Although my heart hurts for them, we should all be so lucky to end our time on earth in the arms of those who love us dearly.
I'm having trouble grasping the concept of her death all at once, instead it comes to me piece by piece. I think about the sound of her voice or hearing her laugh through the wall we shared at work, and I'm fine...I think about how that will never happen again and I cry. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that she's lighting up Heaven with her laughter, that she now fully understands the plan God had for her life even if she didn't fully understand (even though she accepted it) while here on earth. Maybe it sounds childish, but I often picture her talking to my great-grandmother, who died 5 years ago...grandma says something outrageous, and Sarah laughs. I'm not sure how things work in Heaven, but if they meet I'm sure they will get a kick out of one another. :)
I should have a dozen inspiring Bible verses to quote right now regarding life and death, but all I can think of is a quote from--don't judge me--Dumbledore. Yes, from Harry Potter. "Do not pity the dead...pity the living, and above all, those who live without love." Sarah lived a life full of love: love she received from many others and the love she gave back to them a hundred times stronger. She lived and loved well, so even though I am sad and don't fully understand why she was only given 31 years on earth, I am not angry with God...my faith has not been shaken. When I look at Sarah's life and faith, my own faith is renewed. It's the "peace that passes all understanding."
Sarah, I miss you. I will see you again someday. Love you, girl.
In that time, CJ has started to stick his tongue out all the time and make Wookiee noises (much to my amusement), Craig has officially accepted a new position within the same company (something he is really excited about that will not require us to move), and--everything else pales in comparison--the world lost a wonderful soul to cancer. I say "the world" because I cannot claim the loss as my own, she was a positive force in the lives of so many people.
Sarah was a sweet co-worker and friend of mine who was diagnosed with adrenal cortical cancer (which is rare and aggressive) in March of 2010. She had been working with us a little over a year at the time and thought she was having allergic reactions of some kind but the doctors finally found the stage four cancer. From the beginning, Sarah made two very important decisions: First and foremost, she put her trust in God's plan, no matter what. Second, she made up her mind that she was going to fight. Throughout her illness she remained positive and strong--even when the rest of us were feeling discouraged--even though every scan showed the cancer progressing, in spite of chemical and homeopathic treatment. She was absent from work frequently, and as much as she had great subs covering for her, it always broke my heart to open the door between our rooms and see someone else in her seat. On November 6th, about a month or so after stopping treatments and starting hospice, she closed her eyes for the last time. She was with her husband (I don't know him well, but I do know he's a wonderful man and they loved each other deeply) and surrounded by family. Although my heart hurts for them, we should all be so lucky to end our time on earth in the arms of those who love us dearly.
I'm having trouble grasping the concept of her death all at once, instead it comes to me piece by piece. I think about the sound of her voice or hearing her laugh through the wall we shared at work, and I'm fine...I think about how that will never happen again and I cry. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that she's lighting up Heaven with her laughter, that she now fully understands the plan God had for her life even if she didn't fully understand (even though she accepted it) while here on earth. Maybe it sounds childish, but I often picture her talking to my great-grandmother, who died 5 years ago...grandma says something outrageous, and Sarah laughs. I'm not sure how things work in Heaven, but if they meet I'm sure they will get a kick out of one another. :)
I should have a dozen inspiring Bible verses to quote right now regarding life and death, but all I can think of is a quote from--don't judge me--Dumbledore. Yes, from Harry Potter. "Do not pity the dead...pity the living, and above all, those who live without love." Sarah lived a life full of love: love she received from many others and the love she gave back to them a hundred times stronger. She lived and loved well, so even though I am sad and don't fully understand why she was only given 31 years on earth, I am not angry with God...my faith has not been shaken. When I look at Sarah's life and faith, my own faith is renewed. It's the "peace that passes all understanding."
Sarah, I miss you. I will see you again someday. Love you, girl.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Six Weeks Later
Time sure does fly around here, and the last six weeks have been a blur of sleeplessness, milestones, and a trip to Chicago thrown in for good measure. I will do a brief update and then hopefully a picture post in the next day or two...I can't do it all at once. Here's the breakdown by subject:
Ava...
...continues to be a huge source of entertainment around here. The terrible threes are terrible indeed, but with enough of her crazy humor thrown in to make it survivable. ;o) She's doing much better sleep-wise and behavior-wise now that she's in preschool and we have a much better routine around here, so that's good! My biggest problem with her right now is the willful disobedience: looking me full in the face and saying, "NO!" The other problem is not obeying the first (or second, or third) time I tell her to do something. It drives me NUTS. I am trying to discipline her swiftly and consistently and I talk it over with her constantly (and praise her like crazy when she does make good choices) so hopefully it'll start to sink in.
On a better note, she continues to be pretty good in public (Target, the mall, etc...we don't tempt fate by taking her to restaurants or anything like that) and she's turning into an AWESOME big sister! In spite of the fact that she told me today that she doesn't want CJ because she'd rather have a sister (doesn't every girl with a little brother say that at some point?), she does adore him and is very sweet with him. She sings to him when he cries, plays with him, tries to "help" him, etc. It's wonderful to watch.
CJ...
...is growing up so fast! I'd say "too fast," but a big part of me is ready to sleep like a normal person again so even though I'll be somewhat sad when he's no longer a baby, I'm enjoying it for now but looking forward to the next stage as well. Anyhow, he's now rolling easily from back to front and can occasionally go front to back. He's started rolling onto his tummy for naps and at night, and seems to be sleeping better as a result. A contributing factor to better sleep is that he's now on Zyrtec: after having a "cold" for about six weeks, we went back to the doctor yet again and I pestered the doctor until she finally said that yes, it was okay to try Benadryl or Zyrtec (I told her that our family would not survive another night of sleeplessness due to his incessant coughing and sneezing, and honestly, that probably was not much of an exaggeration. Poor baby!) Ava had allergy issues around this age as well, which she outgrew after a couple of years.
We've also started him on food: so far, just rice cereal and bananas once a day, but I'm adding sweet potatoes tomorrow. Could've done it sooner but I like to wait until Craig is around in case he has an allergic reaction. He's taking two bottles a day (but will only take 3 ounces at a time from a bottle, he's not a big eater) and nursing 3-4 times a day, and seems to be holding steady in the middle of the growth charts. He's still kind of high maintenance about naps/bedtime, but I'm trying to let him cry more and trying not to soothe him to sleep before bed as much so that he learns to self-soothe a little better.
Craig...
...is working his butt off at work and school. He's taking his last three classes and then graduates in December, yay! He'll start an MBA program in the spring or summer, so we will get a few months' break in there, at least from his schoolwork.
Me...
I finally feel like I've settled into life at home. It can be lonely, but it is what it is: I'm starting to meet more moms through preschool and library time, etc, so hopefully soon we'll start hanging out with other people a little more. There's definitely no way I could've handled work AND taking care of my two inconsistent sleepers, so I'm happy for this opportunity to spend a few years raising them and not worrying about an outside career, even though there's a lot I miss.
I'm also exhausted more often than not, so in the interest of getting some rest tonight, I'm going to wrap things up. I guess I'll have to do a blurb on the Chicago trip later. ;o) Nite!
Ava...
...continues to be a huge source of entertainment around here. The terrible threes are terrible indeed, but with enough of her crazy humor thrown in to make it survivable. ;o) She's doing much better sleep-wise and behavior-wise now that she's in preschool and we have a much better routine around here, so that's good! My biggest problem with her right now is the willful disobedience: looking me full in the face and saying, "NO!" The other problem is not obeying the first (or second, or third) time I tell her to do something. It drives me NUTS. I am trying to discipline her swiftly and consistently and I talk it over with her constantly (and praise her like crazy when she does make good choices) so hopefully it'll start to sink in.
On a better note, she continues to be pretty good in public (Target, the mall, etc...we don't tempt fate by taking her to restaurants or anything like that) and she's turning into an AWESOME big sister! In spite of the fact that she told me today that she doesn't want CJ because she'd rather have a sister (doesn't every girl with a little brother say that at some point?), she does adore him and is very sweet with him. She sings to him when he cries, plays with him, tries to "help" him, etc. It's wonderful to watch.
CJ...
...is growing up so fast! I'd say "too fast," but a big part of me is ready to sleep like a normal person again so even though I'll be somewhat sad when he's no longer a baby, I'm enjoying it for now but looking forward to the next stage as well. Anyhow, he's now rolling easily from back to front and can occasionally go front to back. He's started rolling onto his tummy for naps and at night, and seems to be sleeping better as a result. A contributing factor to better sleep is that he's now on Zyrtec: after having a "cold" for about six weeks, we went back to the doctor yet again and I pestered the doctor until she finally said that yes, it was okay to try Benadryl or Zyrtec (I told her that our family would not survive another night of sleeplessness due to his incessant coughing and sneezing, and honestly, that probably was not much of an exaggeration. Poor baby!) Ava had allergy issues around this age as well, which she outgrew after a couple of years.
We've also started him on food: so far, just rice cereal and bananas once a day, but I'm adding sweet potatoes tomorrow. Could've done it sooner but I like to wait until Craig is around in case he has an allergic reaction. He's taking two bottles a day (but will only take 3 ounces at a time from a bottle, he's not a big eater) and nursing 3-4 times a day, and seems to be holding steady in the middle of the growth charts. He's still kind of high maintenance about naps/bedtime, but I'm trying to let him cry more and trying not to soothe him to sleep before bed as much so that he learns to self-soothe a little better.
Craig...
...is working his butt off at work and school. He's taking his last three classes and then graduates in December, yay! He'll start an MBA program in the spring or summer, so we will get a few months' break in there, at least from his schoolwork.
Me...
I finally feel like I've settled into life at home. It can be lonely, but it is what it is: I'm starting to meet more moms through preschool and library time, etc, so hopefully soon we'll start hanging out with other people a little more. There's definitely no way I could've handled work AND taking care of my two inconsistent sleepers, so I'm happy for this opportunity to spend a few years raising them and not worrying about an outside career, even though there's a lot I miss.
I'm also exhausted more often than not, so in the interest of getting some rest tonight, I'm going to wrap things up. I guess I'll have to do a blurb on the Chicago trip later. ;o) Nite!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
CJ at Four Months
Weight: 15 lbs even (50th percentile)
Height: 24.75 in (45th percentile)
It's funny...everybody I meet always says, "Oh, he's such a big boy!" and yet he's right in the middle: in fact, only in the last few weeks has he started wearing 3-6 month clothes. They should've seen Ava as a baby, always in the 90th+ percentile for height/weight. ;o)
Overall, I have one happy, healthy baby boy who is right on target developmentally, can't complain about that! Some of his favorite things include riding in the Moby, watching everything Ava does (usually smiling and laughing and looking like he wants her to notice him), putting everything he can grab in his mouth, "talking" all of the time, and when we sing "The Wheels on the Bus." We are crazy about him and so happy he's part of our family. :)
Height: 24.75 in (45th percentile)
It's funny...everybody I meet always says, "Oh, he's such a big boy!" and yet he's right in the middle: in fact, only in the last few weeks has he started wearing 3-6 month clothes. They should've seen Ava as a baby, always in the 90th+ percentile for height/weight. ;o)
Overall, I have one happy, healthy baby boy who is right on target developmentally, can't complain about that! Some of his favorite things include riding in the Moby, watching everything Ava does (usually smiling and laughing and looking like he wants her to notice him), putting everything he can grab in his mouth, "talking" all of the time, and when we sing "The Wheels on the Bus." We are crazy about him and so happy he's part of our family. :)
Saturday, September 17, 2011
baby clothes and a broken heart
“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
--Elizabeth Stone
I'm trying to collect my thoughts so I can adequately express myself (not one of my strengths), and I've started and deleted the opening sentence half a dozen times already. Last night I had an emotional meltdown brought on by cleaning. Yes...cleaning. More specifically, cleaning out CJ's closet and putting away the newborn clothes he'd outgrown so I could make room for the 3-6 month sizes. I was fine during the sorting process: it was a couple hours later, when I was cleaning up after dinner with CJ snuggled against me in the Moby that I lost it. All at once it hit me...I no longer had a newborn baby and would never have another one. As sweet as he was at that very moment, it would be over in the blink of an eye. I cried for hours, I second-guessed our decision to be done having kids, and I grieved the closing of that chapter of my life. Later this week I have to go through Ava's closet and even though I may get teary, there's just nothing like putting away that first set of baby clothes. I cried years ago when I put away Ava's, but it was different: there was still the possibility that those clothes would be worn again, the knowledge that there would be more newborns (or newborn, singular ;o) in our family. Realizing that's now completely behind us is hitting me harder than I ever expected. In fact, having kids in general has left my emotions in a more tender state than I care to admit, and it seems to be permanent. No matter how many tantrums are thrown, no matter how much sleep is lost, I'm all kinds of crazy for my babies, and watching them grow up is both wonderful and heartbreaking.
Yes, I realize it does not have to be behind us--we can have another one! But if I start thinking like that, having babies every time it makes me sad to put away baby clothes, we'll end up with twenty kids. ;o) My moment of weakness, of thinking, "Well, who knows? Maybe in a few years we'll change our minds..." was followed immediately by a flashback of my last pregnancy, and I know I will never do it again. (Unless for some reason Craig suddenly decides he really, really wants a third child...I would do it for him. But he wasn't even sure he wanted a second child so I don't see that happening.) I don't do pregnancy very well, childbirth is a nightmare and the recovery is no picnic, and the first two months of caring for a new baby are layers of bliss sandwiched between slices of sleep-deprived hell. I am so thankful to be undeservedly blessed with two beautiful, healthy children and I'm going to try to enjoy every moment of their childhood and not take it for granted (that does NOT mean I won't whine about stuff...there's no fun in being a big flippin' ray of sunshine 24/7), but as Craig pointed out, we still have a few years before they're really fun. I mean, I'm enjoying them now--the funny things Ava says, CJ being the sweetest baby alive--but in a few years when tantrums and diapers are behind us, it's an entirely different kind of fun.
So, that's what is going through my mind lately...as difficult as it has been to transition from working and having a life to myself to stay-at-home mom, I am not going to take it for granted and am so grateful for this opportunity to spend time with my kids.
An over-the-shoulder view of CJ sleeping against me in the Moby.
CJ in a sweater knit by one of my mother-in-law's friends: it's gorgeous and soft and snuggly, and will fit a little better in a few months when it's cold out.
Watching TV one morning in my room...they were both in such a sweet, mellow mood!
Monday, September 12, 2011
First Day of School
I'm a few days late on this...but last Wednesday was Ava's first day of preschool, and it was great! It was only a half day (okay, so it's only a half day to begin with so this was more like a quarter day...1.5 hours instead of 3) but Ava LOVED it. She did not want to go in at first, and in fact she got THAT look on her face, crossed her arms, and said, "No! I want to go HOME!" It was mortifying. Luckily I was able to get her in the room, and within a few seconds she was so interested in what was going on that she let go of my hand, and I RAN. They had a room open for parents to hang out since it was only a half day, but there were no other parents (bummer, I wanted to meet people :-\ ) so CJ and I went to Starbucks and then wandered around Kohl's for a little while before picking Ava up. She was happy to see me but looking forward to her next day! We had a celebratory Chick-fil-A lunch (nuggets for her, the world's most disgusting salad for me....I'm done getting their salads. Worst lettuce ever.) Thursday was her first "full" day (three hours--I used this time to clean the house in peace), she was reluctant to go in again but not as bad, and when I picked her up she would not leave. Like, spotted me through the door, started pouting, and then turned her back and pretended I wasn't there. On the way home, she continued to pout and said, "Mommy! Why did you take me away from my school?!" HAHAHAHA! So glad she loves it! Unfortunately, today we got to school and found that it was closed due to a broken water main...poor Ava was crying. I wanted to cry too, as I'd been planning for weeks on using today to organize my desk in the bonus room (it's buried under about 18 inches of junk) and then read on the porch for awhile while CJ napped. They are up and running again, however, so we'll be back at school on Wednesday!
Being dramatic and making a sad face...
...but then she made me get the camera BACK out so that she could take some happy pictures!
Our first day of school lunch
CJ looking on (and looking cute ;o) while we eat lunch
Check back soon--more updates on what's been going on around here will follow!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Picnics and Tea Parties
This picture has nothing to do with anything, but it makes me laugh...
So, I don't watch reality shows (unless you count the stuff on Food Network and HGTV)....I especially don't watch those Real Housewives shows (no offense if you are into them, they're just not my thing) because from what I understand, it's just a bunch of spoiled, catty women, drinking and shopping and fighting with each other. Since I already want to punch people on a daily basis, I probably don't need to lower my opinion of humanity any further, you know? If you want a show about REAL housewives, I'll start filming my day-to-day activities. You'll observe such things as me waking up looking like the living dead, fixing my hair while simultaneously singing "The Wheels on the Bus" and rocking the baby bouncy seat with my foot, keeping a 3-year-old from shoving plastic toys up her nose, cleaning the same thing a hundred times, and getting spit up on repeatedly. Sometimes we go to Target...and if I'm really feeling daring, I'll get a decaf vanilla latte while I'm there. Hey, I didn't say it was exciting, just real! ;o) Anyhow, this week started off pretty nice, we didn't have such unholy heat and humidity, so two days in a row I packed a picnic lunch and we headed to a nearby park. CJ napped in the Moby carrier and Ava had a blast playing, especially when a few other kids showed up.
Thursday afternoon, Ava decided to surprise me with a tea party:
It was so cute! She made me close my eyes and walk out onto the porch where she had everything set up, and she was SO proud of herself. I made us some of my favorite chai, which she refers to as "spicy tea." (Please ignore my gross, stained cushions...they got all wet and mildewy in the recent storms and I'm going to get rid of them and replace them for next summer. Blech.)
Also this week we had parent open house and then student open house for preschool! I am SO excited for Ava, and she had so much fun at her open house that she didn't want to leave! I know she'll probably melt down next week when I actually leave her there, but I'm sure she'll get over it quickly. School is going to be so good for her (and for me too!).
Finally, Ava has been really into taking pictures, and she snapped this one of CJ on my phone:
This week wasn't all sunshine and rainbows (last night was particularly rough) but today, I'm choosing to focus on the good...luckily, there was plenty of it to focus on! I also started another blog--if you didn't catch it already, it's called Things Ava Says and the name describes it all: it's a site dedicated to Ava-isms. I'll link it directly on the main page of this blog when I figure out how. ;o)
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