32 hours

That's the number of hours Ava has to arrive before we lose out on using her as a tax break. ;o) Ah well. Whatever...I don't care anymore, as long as she's not past her due date. (I realize I just jinxed myself by saying that....wonderful.) In the meantime, I'm just trying to enjoy my vacation. Making a real dinner tonight: rosemary pork chops in the crock pot, green beans, wild rice, and apple cobbler. Good stuff!

Not much to report...

...I just had a rough night of anxiety, sleeplessness, nausea, pain, etc. I got up and walked around the house and goofed off on the computer for awhile but it didn't help much. Almost too tired to drag my sorry butt around today. Still making plans for the upcoming week in an attempt to trick the kid into coming early by making it "inconvenient" but I really don't think it's going to work. Hmmmm. (Oh, did I mention they found me another maternity leave replacement? Hopefully this one sticks around and hopefully I'll have a chance to at least meet her before I'm out of the game!)

Craig did a little nesting of his own and bought a file cabinet yesterday, and sorted/filed a bunch of junk that had been in his office closet (yay!)...then he installed some new lighting in there too. It's looking good! I think he needs a small area rug and a few distinguished-looking pictures for the wall, but that's just me...a couple of years ago I painted the room a shade called "Cosmopolitan Olive" (yeah, that's fancy speak for "dark army green") hoping it would look like an elegant executive office, but really it just looked stupid (that's my opinion, Craig likes it)...the lighting has gone a long way to improve the appearance.

All right. I'm rambling. I really have nothing to say but am trying to kill time until I either doze off or decide it's time to look for food.

Still not laughing.

That is the understatement of the year...I'm so cranky right now that if I were to meet someone I'm not fond of in a dark alley right now, I'd probably rip their head off with my bare hands, just to give me something to do. (No, I'm not insane, why do you ask?) Not only did the doctor tell me today that I haven't changed from my previous 3 centimeters, apparently being dilated in the first place doesn't mean CRAP. So, all of my preparedness, all of my tension, all of my excitement that the spawn will soon be vacating the premises....ALL FOR NOTHING. I wanted that baby to come today...I just liked the 27th for some reason. (I have really weird issues with numbers...if I'm counting a group of objects, I like even numbers; preferably with many factors. For birth dates, I am partial to odd numbers. I like odd composite numbers the best....27 would have been PERFECT. Yes, I have bizarre, obsessive number issues.) Anyhow, someone else who was due nearly 3 weeks after me had her baby today. Yes, there were different circumstances and it worked out for the best and I'm nothing but happy for her, but it just rubbed it in that my kid has apparently sunk her evil little hands into my uterus and is hanging on for dear life. COME ON!!!!! YOUR LEASE IS UP!! OUT ALREADY! We have a gorgeous cradle and a crib with the softest sheets imaginable out here for you, it's much better! I have a stabbing, searing pain in the right side of my ribcage if I don't sit/lay/stand the exact right way. If the baby turns a certain way, she presses a nerve that sends pain down one or both of my inner thighs and makes my leg(s) give out. If I get up in the middle of the night and have a drink of water--WATER!!!--I get acid reflux. I am so done with this. (Oh, and the person who said you can't have I.V. drugs while actually delivering is right, so I guess I'll be going with the epidural at some point for sure. I'd just like to make it as long as possible without.)

On that note, here are some Christmas pictures! I know I said I'd edit and post them in the last one but I didn't. They're right here.

BubbleShare: Share photos - Cheap Hotels Vegas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I hope everyone has a great Christmas! I'll edit and add pictures later...Craig hasn't even gotten out of bed yet. :o) Still holding out hope that maybe we'll have an early arrival as a gift!

(Not likely, though.)

And it keeps getting even not funnier...

Apparently it is my destiny to have a heart attack before the age of 30. Between the stress of pregnancy and anxiety of childbirth/bringing home a helpless creature I have to keep alive and happy, an ongoing issue I'm having regarding a nutcase parent of a student, and the fact that MY MATERNITY LEAVE REPLACEMENT HAS JUST BACKED OUT, I don't know how much more I can take. I wish someone would stick an epidural IN MY HEAD.

Oh, yes...Happy Christmas Eve, everyone!

This is so not funny.

My mom said she talked to a friend of hers who's daughter was dilated to 3cm for TWO WEEKS before she had her baby.

I am not amused.

GET. THIS. THING. OUT. OF. ME.

Well, I just got back from school...went in to get the classroom back in order. It's a good thing I did because apparently the cleaning crew waxed the floors (I thought they were just getting washed) and the entire room was in disarray....the sub would have had a heart attack. (Actually she's more mellow than I am, she'd have just had to arrange the room however she thought it should go...but then it would not have matched the seating charts, etc....so it was better for me to have it ready for her.) Anyhow, Craig came with me because he was pitching a fit about me moving desks (for heaven's sake, I can slide lightweight desks across a floor!) so finally I told him if he didn't want me moving things by myself, he was welcome to come with, but I was going either way. So, we had a nice lunch at a deli up in Wake Forest, got my room back in order (it was actually really nice having him help, it was done very quickly) and here we are.

I have to make a trip to the grocery store because we're supposed to go to my aunt and uncle's for dinner tomorrow and I'm bringing a dessert (trying something new...some angel food cake thing that looks GOOD) and if I make it until Christmas, we'll be going to MJ's and bringing dessert for that as well. At home, Craig still has to put up a shelf in the nursery closet and the house needs vacuuming but that's it! Each night before bed I'm making sure the litterbox has been cleaned and any trash taken out, the cats have full food bowls, and the last odds and ends I'd need for the hospital are in a pile so they can be thrown in the suitcase at a moment's notice (things like makeup, my phone charger, etc....things I can't pack ahead of time because I'm using them every day).

So last night I had a dream that I was being pursued by an individual I know who shall remain nameless (I'm quite certain nobody reading this blog knows this person but still)...she's notorious for being a huge advocate of breastfeeding (which is fine) and forcefully shoving it down the throat of everyone she knows (no pun intended...and her pushiness is NOT fine). She has yet to do so to me, but I don't think she likes me much and I'm quite all right with that! In my dream she was trying to corner me so she could give me the whole breastfeeding spiel and I was NOT having it. I don't like being told what to do...by all means, share your insight and advice and experiences, but don't act like I'm beneath you if I do things my own way...at least not to my face. Just look down your nose at me behind my back, please. ;o) Personally I'm only planning on feeding the baby that way because it's cheap, easy, and best for the kid...it's not exactly an experience I'm looking forward to...no offense to anyone out there who found it to be a lovely bonding experience, it just kind of creeps me out. (The entire reproductive process is making me feel like a farm animal.) I love that I'm going to have this baby but the events leading up to her arrival and the ones I'm anticipating immediately following, I'm finding a little less enjoyable than, say, a Caribbean cruise. (Oh my goodness, I would do anything to be on a tropical island, with a tropical drink, laying ON MY STOMACH out in the sun! They need to invent a labor and delivery drug that doesn't just take away the pain but makes you hallucinate so that instead of giving birth, you think you're on vacation.)

That's it...during the day I keep it together pretty well but I'm nervous now when I go to bed at night, wondering if I'm going to be jumping up at 3am and making a trip to the hospital. It must be on Craig's mind more than he'll admit because I got up to use the restroom last night and he was like, "WHAT? WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S GOING ON? ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT'S HAPPENING?" Obviously he was still half asleep but it was pretty funny.