What a difference two weeks makes.
In that time, CJ has started to stick his tongue out all the time and make Wookiee noises (much to my amusement), Craig has officially accepted a new position within the same company (something he is really excited about that will not require us to move), and--everything else pales in comparison--the world lost a wonderful soul to cancer. I say "the world" because I cannot claim the loss as my own, she was a positive force in the lives of so many people.
Sarah was a sweet co-worker and friend of mine who was diagnosed with adrenal cortical cancer (which is rare and aggressive) in March of 2010. She had been working with us a little over a year at the time and thought she was having allergic reactions of some kind but the doctors finally found the stage four cancer. From the beginning, Sarah made two very important decisions: First and foremost, she put her trust in God's plan, no matter what. Second, she made up her mind that she was going to fight. Throughout her illness she remained positive and strong--even when the rest of us were feeling discouraged--even though every scan showed the cancer progressing, in spite of chemical and homeopathic treatment. She was absent from work frequently, and as much as she had great subs covering for her, it always broke my heart to open the door between our rooms and see someone else in her seat. On November 6th, about a month or so after stopping treatments and starting hospice, she closed her eyes for the last time. She was with her husband (I don't know him well, but I do know he's a wonderful man and they loved each other deeply) and surrounded by family. Although my heart hurts for them, we should all be so lucky to end our time on earth in the arms of those who love us dearly.
I'm having trouble grasping the concept of her death all at once, instead it comes to me piece by piece. I think about the sound of her voice or hearing her laugh through the wall we shared at work, and I'm fine...I think about how that will never happen again and I cry. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that she's lighting up Heaven with her laughter, that she now fully understands the plan God had for her life even if she didn't fully understand (even though she accepted it) while here on earth. Maybe it sounds childish, but I often picture her talking to my great-grandmother, who died 5 years ago...grandma says something outrageous, and Sarah laughs. I'm not sure how things work in Heaven, but if they meet I'm sure they will get a kick out of one another. :)
I should have a dozen inspiring Bible verses to quote right now regarding life and death, but all I can think of is a quote from--don't judge me--Dumbledore. Yes, from Harry Potter. "Do not pity the dead...pity the living, and above all, those who live without love." Sarah lived a life full of love: love she received from many others and the love she gave back to them a hundred times stronger. She lived and loved well, so even though I am sad and don't fully understand why she was only given 31 years on earth, I am not angry with God...my faith has not been shaken. When I look at Sarah's life and faith, my own faith is renewed. It's the "peace that passes all understanding."
Sarah, I miss you. I will see you again someday. Love you, girl.
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1 comment:
Melissa, this is beautiful. You captured her perfectly. I can still hear her laughing too! We were so incredibly blessed to have know her. My faith has also been renewed. I thank her for that. Thank you for writing this. I am sending you tons of love right now!
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